


The Act Of Fishing: An Epilogue

by Amalgam000



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Cabin Fic, Episode Tag, Episode: s08e19-20 Moebius, Episode: s09e06 Beachhead, F/M, Post-Moebius, Romance, post-season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 00:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10956036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amalgam000/pseuds/Amalgam000
Summary: My take on how Sam and Jack would have “eased” into a romantic relationship – though there’s nothing easy about it – if Jack had decided to retire when he took the rest of SG-1 fishing at the end of Moebius (season 8). A "what happened at the cabin" story.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been on fanfiction.net for a while now, but I thought I would post it here as well. I originally wrote the first version of this story in 2005, and reworked it a couple of years ago, adding some chapters and such. It's probably not all that original, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

The cabin had never been so crowded, Jack thought with a smile as he busied himself with cleaning the mess he’d made in the kitchen. The first day of fishing at the cabin with Carter, Daniel and Teal’c had been so fruitful that Jack had volunteered to put together a nice dinner (if he did say so himself) with their catch prepared à-la-Jack, as he proudly called it. For some reason neither Carter, Teal’c, nor Daniel had been particularly surprised to discover that this special recipe involved lots of beer.

After dinner Carter had offered to help clean up, but Jack had insisted she ‘just relax’. She just worked too damn much, and the last few weeks had been particularly rough on her with Jacob’s death, her break-up with Shanahan (which he’d learned from Teal’c, of all people) and her trip to San Diego after the funeral. She hadn’t contested Jack’s arguments much though, so in the end he’d left SG-1 in the living room, reading and chatting.

Jack was glad she had finally agreed to come, though he really hadn’t left her much choice this time. After everything they’d been through in the last few weeks, he had thought it necessary for _all_ of their sanity to take some time away from the base, just the four of them together. They hadn’t done that in ages – well, pretty much since Jack had taken command. 

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he had missed them. 

As Jack worked in the kitchen his mind wandered, inevitably going back to their conversations at dinner. Despite the relative liveliness and relaxed atmosphere, there had also been a sense of finality in the nostalgia that had laced the banter and joking. Jack couldn’t quite explain it, but it was as though they all implicitly realized that this particular moment meant the end of something – of an era, maybe. With most of their enemies (hopefully permanently) defeated, they all knew that change was coming – and Jack knew that better than anyone. He was pretty proud that he’d been able to keep his thoughts to himself regarding his plans for the future, while still managing to brush off all of Daniel’s not-so-subtle attempts at convincing him that going to Atlantis was the next logical step for SG-1.

But despite this sense of looming change, or maybe because of it, Jack was content – content in a way he hardly remembered ever feeling before, even during his years going off-world with the team. As exhilarating and gratifying as his time as CO of SG-1 had been, there had always been this feeling of impending doom or unfinished business, not to mention the unspeakable…thing… with Carter that had become harder and harder to sweep under the carpet as the years went on. He didn’t have any regrets in that regard, and he was convinced they had done the right thing by sticking to their professionalism. But he also recognized that it had made things incredibly hard. If not for her, then certainly for him. Especially this past year, with her almost-wedding to Shanahan. God, he still shuddered at the thought of how much of a close call _that_ had been…

But now, the System Lords were pretty much all conquered by the Jaffa rebellion, the replicators were gone, Anubis had disappeared – hopefully for another few thousand years – and Jack had even managed to send the Daedalus and some reinforcements to the Pegasus Galaxy with the help of the new ZPM.

Yep, his job was done.

With his job being done in the kitchen as well, Jack washed up and brewed some decaf before heading back to the living room with four cups carefully balanced in his hands. When he looked up he realized only Teal’c and Daniel remained.

“Where’s Carter?" 

Daniel didn’t even look up from his book. “She’s gone outside. Something about the moonlight on the lake." 

“Oh. Well I better get this to her,” Jack replied as he put on his fleece and grabbed two mugs of coffee on the way to the door.

Could this finally be the opportunity he had been waiting for? They hadn’t really talked since Jacob’s death, and he figured this was as good a time as any to get some things out in the open. His last conversation with Kerry had stuck in his head, and he couldn’t help thinking that she had been right: it was stupid to hide his feelings any longer. His job was done, Carter had broken up her engagement and he could easily retire again. They’d waited long enough.

That is, if Carter still harbored any…feelings… towards him at all?

She had to feel at least _something,_ he reminded himself _._ As uncertain as he usually felt about _anything_ Carter-related, her impromptu and very awkward visit at his house a few weeks before had given him some hope. What had she really come to tell him, that day? It had tortured him for weeks.

Well, only one way to find out.

Gathering up his courage, he made his way onto the lawn and looked around, his breath coming out in little puffs in the crisp air. His breath caught in his throat when he spotted her standing at the end of the dock, staring out at the dark waters of the pond. With her back to him, all alone before the vastness of the starlit sky, she looked… lonely. And amazingly beautiful. She turned in his direction when he was a few feet away and he faltered only slightly when he met her eyes. Her face was mostly in shadows, but her hair glittered in the moonlight and the faint glow from the cabin allowed him to see the sparkle in her eyes. He felt his pulse accelerate.

“Hey,” he said as he finally joined her on the dock and handed her the steaming cup of coffee.

“Thanks,” she said as she took it, her fingers snaking around the cup as if snuggling up to the warmth. “It’s so beautiful and peaceful out here.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed as he followed her gaze. The night was exceptionally clear and the moon reflected its bluish light on the lake. It really was beautiful. “I knew you’d think so.”

“The guys still reading inside?” she asked as she rose the cup to her lips to take a sip.

“Yeah. You know I’m starting to think Daniel’s hiding a romance novel inside his archaeology book. No one can ever be _that_ passionate about history.”

She chuckled softly, and Jack turned his head in her direction to observe her. She seemed amused enough by his comment, but he could tell there was something deeper going on that made her more quiet and pensive than usual. Was all that talk about their past victories and uncertain futures at dinner making her wonder about her own future as well? Well then, Jack decided, this moment was as good as any for the discussion he was hoping to have with her.

“You know, there’s a short trail around the lake. It’s a beautiful night, we could take a walk…?” He suggested, hating how awkward and uncertain he sounded. He had to get a grip. Her eyes shifted quickly to his, but Jack couldn’t discern her expression. “We wouldn’t be long, maybe half an hour...” he added quickly, trying not to sound too…forward.

She held his gaze for a moment, as if trying to read his intentions, and finally a small smile made its way to her lips. “Sure. Let me get my jacket.”

Jack watched her go with butterflies dancing in his stomach. He wasn’t exactly nervous, more like febrile really, because _this was it_! He had been waiting for this moment for God knew how long and he didn’t want to mess it up. Or worse, let it slip.

His heart skipped a beat when she exited the cabin again, this time wearing her jacket, and walked quickly towards him.

“I told the guys we’d be gone for a while. Not to worry." 

“What did they say?” Jack asked as he zipped up his fleece and left his mug on the dock. As they started walking he shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket.

“Not much. I’m not sure Daniel actually blinked. But Teal’c did bow his head,” she added cheekily as they entered the woods and took the trail.

The light from the moon allowed them to see the lake to their left and the path ahead of them so Jack didn’t have to worry about tripping on some root. They stayed silent for a while, walking at a slower pace than they normally would. Jack took a moment to breathe in the crisp air, taking in the earthy spring smells of evergreens and moist earth. He had always loved this time of year, when the air was just cool enough to feel like it cleared his lungs. He was so focused on those senses that he almost jumped out of his skin when she touched his arm, stopping him mid-step.

“Sir – there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while,” she said as she looked up at him to meet his eyes. He raised an eyebrow as he turned to face her more fully. He held his breath. Oh?

She nodded, as if he’d actually spoken out loud. “I wanted to thank you, sir. For being there when my dad…died. It was a rough time and, well…thanks.”

Jack rested his eyes on her saddened face, his hands twitching in his pockets. He had been there, true, but oh, how he had wished he could do even more! Even now, as he looked at her, he had to fight the urge to take her in his arms to comfort her. But he couldn’t. Not just yet.

He kept silent for a few beats, hoping his silence would make her look up. It did, and when she met his eyes he held her gaze as he spoke. “I told you Sam. Always.”

Despite his relatively rare use of her name, her smile was still sad and hesitant when she nodded her thanks silently. She started walking again.

“How was your brother when you saw him?” Jack asked. She’d spent almost a week in San Diego after the funeral, and he hadn’t had the chance to ask her how it had gone.

“Good I think. Considering. I think Mark felt lucky to have been able to mend the fences with Dad before he died. Although he was a little regretful of all the years they’d been apart, I think he viewed the situation in a more…peaceful frame of mind than he did a few years ago.” She fell silent, lost in her own thoughts and memories, and Jack had to fight the urge to pull his hand out of his pocket and pull her into his arms. It seemed to be the story of his life.

She chuckled softly, almost sadly, unaware of his inner turmoil. “It’s funny, because I feel the exact same way. This trip made me realize that Mark and I are more alike than I thought. And the kids were just so wonderful. You know how generous kids can be.”

Jack merely nodded. He did know.

“I’m glad I went,” she went on. “It felt like a special kind of closure. I’m closer to Mark’s family now than I ever was.”

“That’s good.”

She looked up then and met Jack’s eyes with a soft smile. “Yes, it is.”

It was Jack’s turn to stop walking and he looked down with a frown, trying to gather up the courage to say what he had to say. Really, he shouldn’t need _courage_ to admit his feelings to the woman he loved, he reproached himself mentally. This shouldn’t be this hard – she _had_ to know what he felt for her, how he had always felt. But actually saying the words out loud – after all this time – was a hell of a lot harder than subtly acknowledging vague feelings without the fear of consequences. This was the real thing and he didn’t want to mess it up. He vaguely noticed that she’d stopped walking too and was now facing him.

“Sir?”

He cleared his throat. “Since we seem to be on a roll here… I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you as well.” ‘There goes nothing,’ he thought as he inhaled – and held his breath _._ “I’m retiring again.”

He raised his eyes to meet hers as he waited for the blow, but was taken aback at how… _un_ surprised… she looked. Her eyes were serious and contemplating him closely, but… definitely not surprised. Jack tried to read her expression, but he really couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “What?” he asked, a little warily.

“I can’t say I blame you,” she responded at last and Jack couldn’t stop the disappointment that hit him. He’d figured she would understand what he had left unsaid; ‘I’m retiring again… _so we can be together_ ’. Or that at least she’d be vehemently against the idea, arguing something about the SGC needing him or some bullshit like that. But no. She just couldn’t blame him. It took a while for him to register that she’d started walking again, so he jogged to catch up with her.

“Carter, I must say I’m a little confused… I thought you-”

“No I mean, I understand, really, I do!” she interrupted. “The war with the Goa’uld is practically over and you feel you’ve done your part! I can understand that,” she explained as she kept on walking, her arms hugging herself. Jack couldn’t tell if her defensive posture was from the need for warmth or emotional protection. “I guess I even expected it, it’s just… I think I speak for everyone when I say you will be missed, sir.”

Jack’s frown deepened as he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Carter what are you talking about? I thought you’d-” He sighed in frustration. “Carter part of the reason I’m doing this is so we can give _this_ a chance!” he finally blurted out as his hand gestured between the two of them.

For a long second nothing happened as his words hung tense and loud in the air between them, but then her eyes widened and she staggered back slightly, doing one of the best impressions of a deer caught in headlights Jack had ever seen. Despite his frustration at his own lack of eloquence, Jack had the sudden and very inappropriate urge to laugh derisively as he realized that she hadn’t understood his intentions. At all. She was the smartest person he knew, how could she not have known?

When she didn’t seem on the way to formulate a response – or breathe, he figured he might as well start over and tell her properly. Or at least try. He sighed and met her eyes, slowly letting go of her arm.

“Look, you can’t _seriously_ be surprised about this… But you’re right. I _do_ feel like my job at the SGC is done. I’ve given it almost ten years of my life – some pretty amazing years, don’t take me wrong – but I just figure it’s time for me to take a break and concentrate on…other…stuff. When it comes down to it, more…important… stuff. Stuff I’ve been thinking about for years but always put on hold for reasons that I really don’t give a damn about anymore.”

“Fishing?” she suggested, her expression serious but with just a hint of teasing in the tiny raise of her eyebrow. 

He gave a lopsided grin. “I guess you could call it that.” When her serious expression didn’t change, Jack shook his head apologetically. “No Carter, I’m not talking about fishing. And I think you know that.” 

Her eyes widened a little bit more when he took a step towards her. “I’m talking about _you_ …” He took another step and he could almost swear that she blushed at his invasion of her personal space, but he was thrilled when she didn’t back away. “And _me_ …” His hand found its way out of his pocket despite all of his best intentions, “…and everything neither of us could ever admit given our working relationship and military ranks.” And the hand was touching the soft and cool skin of her cheek. The contact made her close her eyes with a sigh, sending a bolt of hope straight into his heart.

“God you’re really serious about this…” she whispered when she finally opened her eyes again, sounding both incredulous and terrified at once. For a moment he feared that he had gotten it all terribly wrong and that she was about to reject him, but then her hand moved to cover his on her cheek. “This is real?” she breathed so wistfully that Jack felt his heart tighten with emotion and a powerful need to protect her from the rest of the world. The galaxy even. Not that she would ever need him to. In fact she would probably kick his ass if he ever verbalized the feeling.

He tried not to grin at the hope that was starting to bubble up in his chest. “Well, now I guess it depends on what you mean by ‘real’. I’m no expert on the subject but apparently alternate realities and extraterrestrial forms are not outside the realm of possibility, so I can’t really say-”

“Jack,” she interrupted, the use of his first name pleasing him beyond… well, anything.

He smiled. “It’s real. If you want it to be.”

She didn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”

In all honesty Jack was taken a little aback by her quick response. Sam Carter never did anything impulsively. Which meant…

“You’re sure?” he asked, just to clarify.

Her lips quirked up slightly. “More than I can say.”

Her breathy reply hung in the silent space where their breath mingled between them. His hand still cupping her cheek, he continued staring into her eyes, allowing himself to look at her, _really_ look at her in a way he hadn’t done in a long time.

And then…she smiled – a bright, full-blown, dimpled smile – and Jack understood that even though she hadn’t foreseen this moment, she had longed for it in the same way he had. How it was possible that someone like her would be interested in him was beyond him, and Jack doubted that he would ever stop marveling at the fact. And yet, there she was: Samantha Carter, smiling, eyes sparkling, moving her hand slowly from his wrist until it snaked around his neck and her nails trailed to the back of his head. That was all the encouragement he needed: he leaned in slowly, making sure to give her plenty of space to change her mind if she-

With one graceful move she met him halfway and before he knew it their lips met.

Holy crap! _Their lips met_ …

Jack took at least a few milliseconds to register that this was really happening, but when he did he took another step closer and framed her face with both his hands, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. The kiss was slow and tantalizing as Jack relished in the wonder of the moment. They may have known each other for a long time, but kissing Sam Carter felt new and still slightly forbidden, making it all the more real and important. Her incredibly soft lips tasted slightly of coffee and something sweet and addictive that he could spend a lifetime trying to identify. Relishing in everything that was _her -_ her smell, her touch, her taste - he took his time in caressing her lips and she followed his pace, apparently enjoying this slow exploration just as much as he was.

Jack shivered when her arms wound around his neck and her fingers slid more fully into his hair, bringing her even closer into his embrace. She sighed against his mouth when their bodies came into full contact and the sensation of her hot breath against his lips sent a bolt of electricity all the way down to his toes. He took advantage of her opened lips to tentatively deepen the kiss, and she moaned in response.

The sensations that assaulted him then almost floored him, but still aware of a number of unresolved issues between them, he forced himself to pull away before it got out of hand and brought back his hands to frame her face, making her look up into his eyes. Her gaze was slightly confused when she met his, so he let his thumb caress her cheek. They were both panting heavily and she closed her eyes for a moment, resting her forehead against his cheek, obviously trying to regain some sort of composure. Jack caressed her cheek and when she looked up again, he couldn’t help himself.

“God Carter- I love you. You know I always have.”

Her eyes flashed with surprise and she let out a gaspy smile. Turning her head slightly but her eyes never leaving his, she kissed the palm that was still cupping her cheek. Her darkened eyes turned playful as her hand moved from his back to the back of his head. He shivered again as her fingernails raked through his short hair.

“Wow. For a man who takes pride in being ‘of very few words’,” she quipped with a smile, “you don’t seem to have any trouble finding them tonight.”

A small smile found its way to Jack’s lips but he kept the expression of his eyes serious. God he loved this woman! As cheesy as this sounded, he couldn’t remember when he had last felt anything resembling this kind of overflowing happiness. His heart actually felt like busting, but his joking tone was perfectly measured when he spoke. “Oh I don’t know, only takes three simple ones." 

She grinned again and her thumb came to touch his eyebrow and the hair at his temple. He couldn’t help closing his eyes at the touch and at the way she herself seemed to marvel at the fact that she was _allowed_ to do something like this. Didn’t she have any idea what that did to him? 

“Not that I’m complaining, the opposite in fact, but what brought this on? Why now? Why tonight?” she asked curiously.

Jack shrugged. “Timing, I guess. It just seemed like the right time. Like we would be ready for this.” He met her eyes seriously again. “Don’t you think?”

She pulled away and turned to walk again, making Jack fear that maybe he’d pushed it too far. But then she stopped, smiled, and extended her hand. Jack took it with relief and interlaced their fingers, pulling her a little closer so that both his hands could hold hers.

“Yes, I agree,” she started in answer to his question as they resumed walking, “even though I won’t deny this might require some getting used to,” she tugged on his hands a little. “But I think deep down I’ve been ready for this for years.” She threw him a look. “But are you sure? Retirement?”

“Sounding too old for you Carter?”

She cocked her head to the side, deflecting the accusation with a smile.

“I’m sure. My letter’s already on Hammond’s desk. He asked me to consider it for a little longer before making my decision final.”

“So you were going to do it regardless of what happened between us,” she asked, though it sounded more like a statement. From her tone he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. He decided to go with honesty.

“I suppose, yeah. I mean I _hoped_ you’d be on board with this, but I was ready either way.”

“So, no changing your mind?”

 “Nope. No changing my mind.”

“In that case...” She stopped walking and with her cool hand against his neck pulled him down towards her. Jack felt his heart come alive when their lips touched for the second time. This time there was no first time hesitation, only wonder that this incredible woman was actually in his arms and enjoying it at least as much as he did. She pulled all too soon and threw him a smile before resuming her walk.

They walked in silence for a little while, Jack – he was sure – with a very goofy expression on his face. But he just couldn’t help it. He took her hand again, and it occurred to him – not without some relief that this was really happening – that the offensive piece of jewelry that had adorned her finger for a few months was now truly gone.

“Ask you a question?” he asked quietly.

“Yes, of course,” she replied brightly, apparently not suspecting that he intended to broach a relatively painful topic.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d broken it off with Pete when I drove you to the airport for your flight to San Diego? It was just the two of us, you could have said.”

As expected, her eyes clouded over, smile freezing on her face. Jack kicked himself for bringing this up now, but this was one of the things that he thought had to be talked about. When she disentangled their fingers and distanced herself, Jack let her.

“You really want to talk about this now?”

Jack shrugged slightly. “No, not really?”

Though frustrated by his pointed look, she seemed to understand what he left unsaid: that they _needed_ to talk about this. “Fine,” she gave in. “Well, the truth is, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you then. And now that I think of it, how _did_ you find out?”

“Grapevine,” Jack suggested without even trying to disguise his lie.

More than a little familiar with his sense of humor, she narrowed her eyes, but Jack thought he could detect a glint of amusement in them. “Teal’c told you, didn’t he?”

Of _course_ she had figured it out. Not that it was all that surprising; Teal’c had somehow always understood Jack’s feelings, and what is more he had always been supportive in his own, quiet way. After all he had witnessed most of their “moments” in a way that no one else had, not even Daniel.

Jack decided to maintain the humor with his answer: “Well, you know how Jaffas _love_ to gossip.”

“Uh-huh,” she replied skeptically. After gazing at him for a long moment, she seemed to give in. “If you want the truth, I didn’t want to make the situation any more awkward than it already was. After what happened at your house I was embarrassed, and I didn’t want to come in the way of what you and Agent Johnson had going.”

Jack was truly surprised at this. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, of course! You’d been so supportive of my own relationship and everything, I was trying to do the same. But I think, I didn’t tell you mostly because I was scared.”

“Scared?” Jack repeated, a little incredulously. She never seemed afraid of anything.

“Terrified.”

“Of what?” Jack pressed gently, amazed that she was willing to admit so much.

“Change, I guess.” She stopped walking to turn to look at him. “Don’t you ever find change terrifying?”

“Sometimes,” Jack admitted. “But it doesn’t have to be.”

She smiled slightly. “Yes, I think I’m beginning to see that.”

“Good.” He paused for effect. “Cause I was thinking this would be the perfect time for a little hair make-over. What would you think of me going Hammond-style?”

* * *

 

After that Jack spent the rest of the walk lightening the mood by broaching less loaded topics such as potential hobbies for him to engage in as a retiree or what kind of dog he would finally get. It didn’t take very long for Sam to return to her earlier happy mood and join in the banter. And all the while they chatted about this and that, Jack marveled at the thought that she had actually agreed to give _them_ a shot. Could this really be happening after all this time? Jack still had trouble believing it. And as she’d said, it would probably require some serious getting used to, but he had meant what he’d said too, he was ready for it. Whatever ‘it’ would turn out to be.

With her arms looped around his elbow as his hands rested in his pockets, they made it back to the cabin chatting quietly.

“Well, I didn’t see _that one_ coming,” Daniel said slowly as he stood from the chair he’d been occupying by the night lamp on the patio.

Out of habit Jack and Sam quickly disentangled, but it was already too late. He threw a look at Carter and, seeing her biting back a laugh, he let himself relax. They might as well tell them, he thought as he stepped closer to her again and, with a hand on her back, led her to the cabin where Daniel was still observing them, perplex.

“Did you truly not foresee this Daniel Jackson?” Teal’c’s voice came from the shadowed part of the patio. Jack hadn’t noticed him sitting in the dark. Daniel only stared a while longer.

Jack shared a look with Sam. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he was a little worried that Daniel wouldn’t be happy for them. If he _really_ hadn’t seen it coming, then it would be normal for him to feel a little shoc-

His thoughts were interrupted by Daniel’s snort: “I’m just kidding guys! Of course I knew! I’ve known since…well, probably before you two even realized.”

“You have?” Jack asked, a little skeptical. “’Cause, I don’t know, I’ve known for a really long time.” Daniel had always been very perceptive, true, but he’d never said anything about it to let them know he…knew.

“You have?” Sam’s surprised voice chimed in, distracting him from Daniel’s smartass grin.

He threw her a quick look. “Sure. Haven’t you?”

She was saved from answering by Daniel. “I’m happy for you guys,” he said as he made his way to meet them. “Really. You deserve it.” He enfolded Sam in a hug.

“Thanks,” she replied as she pulled away and moved to embrace Teal’c, who had approached as well.

Jack finally smiled and followed them onto the patio where Daniel offered him his hand to shake. “To retirement?” Daniel suggested after grabbing four beer bottles from the table and handing Jack a couple.

Jack picked one and handed another to Carter as she found her way by his side again, smiling into his eyes before redirecting her gaze to Daniel. They raised their bottles and clinked them together.

“To retirement.”

Jack was about to take a sip when something occurred to him. “Daniel,” he started slowly, “how did you know I was thinking of retiring?”

“You’re just that predictable, Jack,” he replied snarkily, but then glanced at Teal’c. “No, actually, I can’t take the credit for this one: Teal’c guessed first.”

When three pairs of eyes shifted to him, Teal’c held his chin higher. “Indeed. And for my guessing correctly I believe you now owe me 50 dollars, Daniel Jackson.”

 

* * *

 

Next up, Sam's point of view...

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sam lay on her back in the almost total darkness of her room, staring restlessly at the smooth surface of the ceiling. It was getting late and she was tired, but sleep eluded her despite her best attempts at clearing her mind.

The day’s events kept playing over and over in her head, and she often wondered if her conversation with… _Jack_ … - she had to get used to using this ensemble of letters, now - wasn’t all a figment of her imagination. But no. He had really kissed her and told her he loved her. She knew him too well to doubt that he meant it, and that utterly amazed her. _He_ amazed her. She smiled to herself. Yes, even after all this time, he still amazed her. And apparently had the power to make her smile stupidly to herself. Really, how old was she?

Yet, despite all of her evidence to the contrary, a part of her still couldn’t quite believe that what she had thought as impossible for so long was finally, really happening. She was thrilled, and scared, and happy and excited all at once and she couldn’t quite make sense of it all.

Her heart skipped a beat as she thought of the way he’d sneaked glances at her earlier as they’d sat outdoors with Daniel and Teal’c. She could still remember the frantic butterflies in her stomach she had felt in response to the blatant wonder and hunger she’d seen in his eyes then, sometimes softened by tenderness and sometimes intensified by longing. He had rarely been so demonstrative before and she almost couldn’t stand the anticipation of this new stage of her (their) life, including the fact that they would soon be allowed to… well, act on their mutual physical attraction.

But not just yet.

He wasn’t retired _yet_ , and she knew that they would both need some time to adjust to this new situation. In fact, as much as Sam wished she could openly return his burning looks in public, even if it was just amongst trusted friends, something was still holding her back. Even though the idea of a romantic relationship with him had always been at the back of her mind, until very recently she had all but given up hope that it would ever happen. And now that it was really happening, she needed some time to process the change. She wasn’t used to watching him openly – or being watched openly by him, for that matter – and she wasn’t used to his touch or even his burning looks. They had always been under careful control before, but now that the way was almost clear…

Her smile softened as she recalled how the night had ended.

*

After sitting outside for a while, they all started to feel the chill so they relocated to the living room where they resumed their easy conversation and banter over a few more beers. After an hour or so Daniel rose to his feet and called it a night, and Teal’c followed about half an hour later.

The moment Teal’c existed the room, a silence heavy with tension and anticipation settled over the two remaining occupants. For a few painful seconds Sam debated with herself what to do: she wanted to stay and make this surprising night last just a little bit longer, but she also knew that officially he was still her CO, and it would be a really bad idea to stay and play with fire in such a way. So she made her decision.

He seemed slightly disappointed, though definitely not surprised, when she all but jumped to her feet. “Well, I guess I should get some sleep too.” She hesitated, “I- ah… Good night sir.”

She saw him wince and she kicked herself mentally at her slip, but he spoke before she could correct herself. “Sure, good night. I think I’m gonna turn in soon too anyway,” he said, though he didn’t move from where he still sat on the couch, his fingers playing with a beer label from an empty bottle that sat on his thigh.

Sam smiled, but it felt forced. God why did she have to make this so awkward? Maybe it really would be better if she just went to bed. “Okay then, good night.” She turned to walk away, but then stopped. She couldn’t just leave him like this! She turned back towards him. He was now staring intently at the bottle.

“I could stay a while longer?” Sam suggested. God, she hated how uncertain she sounded. No one who heard her right now could believe that she had spent the last eight years on the front lines of a galactic war.

His gaze flashed back to her and the hope and blatant desire in his eyes sent her stomach into a double flip. He stared at her for a couple of interminable seconds before rising to his feet slowly, as if every gesture was carefully controlled. “I think we both know it’s probably best if you don’t. At least not until-”

“Yeah. I know.” They shared a long look, until Sam, feeling more than a little flushed, couldn’t hold it anymore. “When do you think-”

“A few days, probably. Maybe a week or two. I’m gonna make that call to Hammond first thing in the morning. Though he might not be able to do anything about it until Monday.”

“Right.”

“You still okay with all this?” he asked, and Sam was a little relieved to realize that, as silly as that sounded given how she felt about him, he too had his insecurities. But at least he seemed to be on the same page on the ‘waiting’ part.

“Yes, of course. You?”

He walked a little closer and exhaled slowly, then paused.

“Undomesticated equines.”

Whatever she had expected him to say, that wasn’t it, so Sam – though she would later blame it on the few beers she’d had over the course of the evening – couldn’t quite contain her laughter at his fake seriousness, and burst out laughing. After a moment of watching her trying to contain her chuckles and failing miserably, he grinned, and then chuckled, and Sam saw it: how genuine that grin was and how unabated joy was reaching his eyes, making them sparkle with a dark, mesmerizing light. She realized with no small portion of amazement that he was letting her see the happiness he was so careful not to let himself feel most of the time. She promised herself to try to provoke that expression as often as she could.

After a few moments, they regained their seriousness and he started speaking again. “That’s settled then. But this brings to mind… you’re gonna need to drop the ‘sir’ soon or I’m gonna lose it.”

Sam grimaced. “Yeah, I know. It’s just- it’s become such a habit, it might take a while.”

“Yes. I know that.”

“Plus it was very sudden. For me anyway. I really didn’t expect you to tell me how you felt tonight.”

He smiled ruefully. “No kidding.”

“This is going to sound a little crazy but… earlier tonight, when you first said you were retiring, I thought it was to be with Kerry Johnson.”

His eyebrows rose slowly, incredulously. “You’re right, it does sound a little crazy.” 

Sam kept watching him silently, somewhat waiting for an explanation, though she knew full well that she really was in no position to ask.

But he gave her one nonetheless. “It wasn’t serious between us. We just…we just got along well, and as I watched you prepare for your wedding, I just figured… I might as well try to move on myself. You know?”

Sam looked down with a small nod. She felt more than saw him take another step closer.

“But man, was I delusional to even _consider_ it was possible,” he went on. “And Kerry, she figured _that_ out pretty quick. Apparently I have issues,” he added derisively.

Despite the heaviness of the topic, Sam couldn’t help her amusement as she played into his game, her expression affectedly surprised, as if to say, ‘what, you, issues? Noooo.’

“Oh yes! Or one big one, according to her.” She could tell the moment he became fully serious again. “But in the end she’s the one who made me realize it was stupid to let the Air Force keep you and me apart.”

“Perceptive woman,” Sam finally spoke with a nod. Even though she knew better than to doubt the truthfulness of his statement, their recent history, including her decidedly serious relationship with Pete, was still too raw to be brought up without some serious painful pangs, for both of them. It was something that they would both have to learn to live with. But she couldn’t help but wonder what he had said or done that would make Kerry realize that he had feelings for another? Had his feelings really been that obvious to everyone but herself?

Shaking the thought away, she shrugged slightly before going on, a little bit of sadness creeping into her voice despite her best intentions of playing it light: “It was Dad who told me not to let the Air Force keep me from getting all I wanted. And I think somehow he knew that meant you.” She raised her gaze to meet his. “It’s always been you.”

He looked surprised and even moved by her admission and the emotion in her voice, but true to himself he deflected it with humor. “Dad? Really? Who’d have thought!”

“He liked you from the start. He told me so after you two first met.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe.”

Sam’s smile widened a little. “Alright, so he never told me directly, but I could tell.”

“Ah. Yes well, I liked him too. He was a great man.”

“Yeah. “

There was a moment of silence as Sam got lost in a whirl of memories and grief and it didn’t take long before she felt the sting of tears behind her eyelids. He had only been gone a few weeks, and already she missed him like crazy.

She felt a finger brush against her palm. “Come here.”

Grateful for the comfort Jack was offering, she didn’t think twice before ignoring his earlier warning and stepping into his embrace to bury her face into his neck, breathing him in as his arms enfolded her in a tight hold. He didn’t say anything as he held her, but he didn’t need to. She realized then that _this_ was what she had needed all along. He was holding her so close she could feel his heart beat, and the warmth of his skin against her face was an extraordinary reminder that she – _they_ were alive. After what felt like minutes, she felt him kiss the side her head lightly, and Sam pulled back far enough to look at him.

“Okay?” he asked quietly.

The tears that had been stinging her eyes before returned at his thoughtfulness. “Yeah. Thanks,” she replied as she took a step back, sniffing.

“Sure.” He studied her for a second. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep?” He paused for a beat. “We have a big day tomorrow.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, smiling through her unshed tears. “We do?”

He looked offended. “Lots of fish still swimming around in that pond, Carter. Lots and lots.”

She let out a small chuckle. “Right.” Giving his arm one last squeeze, she stepped away. “Good night.”

“Night.”

And on that she walked to her room, closed the door, and let herself fall onto her bed with a long sigh.

There was just no way she was going to sleep.

****

When Sam got up the next morning after a restless night, the sun was barely up. So she was surprised to find Daniel already sitting at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and reading what looked like the newspaper. He wasn’t generally an early riser, especially not after a late night like the previous one, and she wondered what had made him get up so early.

A quick survey of the open area told her that the gen- _Jack_ was not around. Given what had happened last night, she wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed or relieved. After a restless night spent thinking about it, she wondered – and admittedly fretted a little – about how this new _thing_ between them would play out in the light of day.

“Good morning,” she greeted Daniel as she made her way to the coffee pot, which was thankfully still almost completely full.

“Morning.” 

“The others up yet?” she asked as she poured herself a cup.

“Mm, Jack’s up – doing stuff outside. Teal’c’s still asleep.”

“At 6am? He’s such a slacker. What are _you_ doing up so early?”

“Don’t know, I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep for some reason. Thinking, I guess.”

“Oh, what about?” Sam asked with some concern as she took the chair next to him.

He seemed to hesitate a little, but then forced a smile on his face. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks, though.”

She patted his arm in response. “So, anything interesting?” Sam pointed to the newspaper.

“Oh sure, if we were still in 2002,” he smirked, showing her the front page, and Sam shared his smile as she saw that the date was in fact obsolete by about three years.

“Maybe he keeps it as fire starter,” Sam suggested.

“Maybe. But we are talking about Jack, after all.”

“What about me?” the man himself asked as he emerged through the cabin front door and started making his way towards the kitchen. Sam felt herself blush in delight when her eyes found his and last night’s…events… flashed through her mind. Shaking the thought away, she gave him a smile before returning to her coffee.

It came out before she could stop it. “Good morning sir.”

He stopped in his tracks to stare at her. “Really? What did I say last night about the sir thing?”

Sam winced and threw a glance at Daniel. Though he appeared amused by the situation, he was also resolutely staring at his newspaper, as if it had the power to make him disappear. “I know. But we also agreed that for the time being you’re still my General. I mean _a_ general. General O’Neill.” She cleared her throat, her slip of the tongue and the incoherent attempt at fixing it making her blush even more. Especially as she was acutely aware that both _he_ and Daniel were smirking, though Daniel was doing a better job at hiding it.

_Jack_ started moving again, making his way past them to get himself some coffee. “Yes well, not for long,” he replied. “So you better get used to it.”

“Yes s-“ she stopped herself just in time. Did he have to make everything sound like an order? She rolled her eyes.

With a steaming cup of coffee in hand, he came back and took a seat facing her on the other side of Daniel, snatching the newspaper from under Daniel’s nose as he did.

“Hey! I was reading that!”

“Really? Cause I distinctly remember hearing you making fun of it a few minutes ago.”

“Jack, come on, can I have it back, please?”

“No. But here, trade you,” he replied as he smugly pulled a rolled-up newspaper from his back pocket and pushed it towards Daniel.

Sam leaned over to read the date: this morning’s paper.

Daniel looked surprised. “Oh. Thank you.”

“So what do you kids want to do today?” Jack asked distractedly as he leaned his temple against his hand and started perusing the outdated newspaper. But Sam knew him well enough to see that his casualness was very much an affectation. She couldn’t tell what feelings he was keeping to himself, but if he was anything like her at the moment, inside he was bubbling with excitement and elation, and probably more than a little frustration.

“I didn’t realize fishing was optional,” Daniel muttered under his breath, equally distractedly.

Putting aside her awkwardness at Daniel’s presence, Sam decided to try to nudge Jack out of his affected indifference. “What do you suggest, _Jack_?” she asked sweetly just before she took a sip of coffee. She smirked into her cup as his eyes snapped to hers. And stared. After a moment he straightened up in his seat and cleared his throat. 

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by Daniel’s voice: “Ah, do you guys want to be alone or something?”

“No!” “Yes!”

Daniel snorted and shook his head as he rose to his feet. “Wow, okay, I think that’s my cue!” Grabbing his coffee and newspaper, he made his way to the door. “You two need to work on that. Seriously.”

After the door closed behind Daniel, Sam’s gaze returned to Jack and they finally shared a smile. It made Sam breathe a little easier. “Well?” Jack asked after a few seconds.

“Has Daniel said anything to you this morning?” she asked.

He didn’t seem fazed by her choice of topic. “He might have mumbled ‘hello’ when he stumbled out of his room. Why?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know, something’s bothering him, but he wouldn’t say what. He was clearly uncomfortable just now… I guess I’m just worried that we’ve been so caught up in us that we haven’t really considered how this” she gestured between the two of them, “is going to affect Daniel and Teal’c. I mean I know they’re happy for us, but- what?” she stopped when she saw that the corners of his mouth had quirked up into a small smile.

“Nothing. It’s just… you talking about ‘us’ like that. It’s nice.”

Sam returned his smile. He could be really sweet sometimes – not that she was going to tell him that. “I know.”

“But I wouldn’t worry too much about Daniel. Or Teal’c. Like you said, they _are_ happy for us. They just need to get used to the idea. Besides, right now we don’t even know how this is going to affect the two of us, so maybe we should focus on that first and worry about everything else later for a change.”

With a sudden need to be in closer proximity to this wonderful, complicated man, Sam rose to her feet and walked around the table to sit next to him. His arm moved to rest on the back of her chair as he turned slightly to face her, but he didn’t touch her. Apparently he was determined to hold on to the line they had decided not to cross last night. And her defensive comment about him still being a general probably only helped strengthen his resolve. Little did he know that in reality she was more than willing to walk the line when they were alone, and maybe tap her foot on the other side every once in a while. 

“Yes, that would definitely be a nice change,” Sam was replying just as they heard Teal’c’s footsteps approach.

“Howdy, T,” Jack said casually, returning his attention to the newspaper as Teal’c walked passed them towards the kitchen counter.

“I believe I require some caffeinated beverage before engaging any of you in conversation, O’Neill.”

Sam exchanged an amused look with Jack, who raised his eyebrows. Without his symbiote, Teal’c had only recently come to fully grasp what sleeping meant, including the energizing effects of coffee, and the rest of them loved to tease him about it every chance they got.

“Rough night, huh?”

“Indeed. My sleep was deeply affected by most vivid dreams.”

Jack threw Sam a sidelong look. “Yeah? Me too.”

Sam rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help the blush that spread up from her neck at his teasing. She redirected her attention to Teal’c who was now approaching them with a cup of coffee in hand.

“Colonel Carter, do you still wish to train in the arts of Lok’nel this morning?”

“Sure, if you still want to teach me.”

He bowed his head. “Perhaps we may begin after a light breakfast.”

“Sounds perfect, how about half an hour?”

“Very well.” He walked back into the kitchen to start rummaging through Jack’s food supplies.

“Training, huh?” Jack asked.

Sam nodded as she took a sip of coffee. “Yeah, we’ve been talking about it for a while, but just never got the chance to get around to doing it until now.” Realizing that he looked a little petulant, Sam shook her head. “It’s only going to be for an hour or so. But anyways, I was really asking before. What do your recommend we do later?”

He perked up a little. “Oh, there’s loads to do around here. There’s fishing, of course,” he said with a pointed look. “And hiking. And there’s an outfitter for river kayaking or canoeing not too far from here. What else? Ah, bird watching? Did I mention fishing?”

“What do you do up here when it rains?” Sam asked curiously. 

He shrugged. “Sometimes I can still fish. If not I usually get a fire started in the fireplace,” he said with a nod towards the living room, “read and stuff.”

Sam smiled as she imagined herself part of this picture, sitting with him on the couch, doing nothing except holding him close and be mesmerized by the dancing flames. “Sounds nice.”

“Yeah.” He suddenly turned to look at her, and studied her for a tad longer than was comfortable. Then he made up his mind about something. “There’s something else. Come on,” he said as he pushed himself to his feet.

“What is it?” Sam asked as he led her outside over the lawn and to the shed. “Your secret Bat Cave?”

“Fantasizing much, are we?” he threw at her over his shoulder.

Sam grinned, happy to be caught at her own game.

“It’s a hobby of sorts,” he clarified, a little more seriously. “I only do it when I’m up here,” he added as he opened the door to the shed and led the way inside.

Struck by the smell of freshly-cut wood, Sam’s eyes swept over the room. She smiled in surprise when she understood what he was showing her. “Carpentry?”

“Of sorts. I like to make furniture. Like that stuff over there,” he indicated with his hand a freshly-made rocking chair and a nightstand that sat in he corner. Sam stared at him with newfound wonder.

“You made these?" 

He shrugged a little, apparently not sure how to respond to her incredulous tone. “Yeah. Among other things.”

“Jack, those are amazing!” Sam said as she made her way closer and touched the chair with the tips of her fingers. “Have you ever thought about selling them?”

“Actually, yes. It’s something I’ve been doing for a while, in fact.”

“Wow, I had no idea! Can I try it?”

“Rock away.”

She did, her hands caressing the smooth sanded wood of the armrests. “Wow. How come you never said anything about this?”

He shrugged. “I guess it never came up. It wouldn’t be the only thing that we never talked about.”

Sam threw him a look at his quip, trying to figure out if there was more to the comment, but he was already shrugging it away.

“Come on, let’s go get some breakfast.”

* * *

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Feet propped up on the cooler, Jack sighed contentedly as he flicked his wrist, sending his sinker plopping into the water several feet away from the dock. Yep, life couldn’t get any better than this. Well, it probably could, he thought as his gaze flickered to the lawn where Teal’c and Carter were training, but in this particular moment, life was pretty damn perfect. The sun was shining, the mosquitoes were keeping to themselves and Samantha Carter had kissed him. More than once.

His gaze shifted to the lawn again – he couldn’t seem to help it, it was like a powerful magnetic pull. He didn’t get a chance to contemplate her from afar very often, and he was determined to take every opportunity from now on. And right now she was a sight to be seen: her slender form moving gracefully and in all appearances effortlessly to Teal’c’s instructions, muscles taut underneath her long-sleeved workout clothes. Her hair reflected golden in the bright sunlight, and she had that focused look on her face, the one Jack knew meant nothing could distract her. He wondered if _he_ ever could find a way to make that concentration waver. In fact he had some ideas…

“Hey, mind if I join you?”

Daniel.

Looking up a little guiltily, Jack gestured to the chair beside his. “Sure,” he was surprised to see that Daniel had actually brought a fishing rod with him. “Knock yourself out. Done with your book?” He asked conversationally as he observed his friend carefully. He recalled Sam’s earlier concerns about Daniel, and though he had dismissed them at the time, it made him a little uneasy that she might be right. Daniel did seem a little more withdrawn than usual.

“What? Oh yeah,” Daniel replied as he settled down more comfortably into his chair. “It was a fascinating theoretical debate on whether or not agriculture was-”

“Ah! I’m on vacation,” Jack interrupted, and was relieved to see that Daniel didn’t appear insulted.

Instead he smirked. “Yeah, I was impressed you asked. I thought you’d know better by now.”

“Yes, you’d think I’d have learned my lesson, wouldn’t you?” Jack reeled in his line as he considered how to make Daniel talk. Oh the irony. “It doesn’t sound like the kind of momentous discovery that even an archaeologist would lose sleep over, though, is it?”

Daniel shot him a look, undecipherable behind his dark sunglasses. “Did Sam say something to you?”

Jack shrugged. “She may have mentioned something. But even _I_ know that you’re never up before 8am if you can help it. So out with it.”

Jack held Daniel’s hidden stare for a few beats, not budging.

“Birds.”

“Birds?”

“There were birds chirping right outside my window.”

Jack gave him an incredulous look.

“Come on Jack, a guy can’t have a little bout of insomnia without raising some eyebrows around here? Is this therapy weekend, what’s gotten into you? First Sam and now this?”

Jack tensed, straightening up in his chair. “Hey, what’s happening between Sam and I has nothing to do with this!” he warned, but as the words came out of his mouth, Sam’s concerns about how their newfound relationship would affect the boys flashed through his mind. “Or, maybe it does, you tell me?”

Daniel looked guilty. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry. I know what you guys have had to go through to get here.”

“You do?”

“Like I said last night, I’ve had my suspicions for a while.”

Jack returned his gaze to the pond. “You never said anything.”

“It wasn’t my place to say anything. Besides, this…thing…between you two, it’s always been part of our team dynamic. It’s just the way it’s always been.”

“Really?” Jack had always thought they’d done as good a job at denying it to the rest of the world as they did to themselves.

“Yeah. It’s funny though, I was never absolutely sure about it until after I ascended the first time and retook human form.”

Jack smirked. “Now, _that’s_ something you don’t hear everyday.”

Daniel snorted. “You know after everything we’ve been through, it’s amazing we’re not all more mentally unstable than we are.”

“That still remains to be demonstrated for some of us.”

“But anyways, once I started to remember things from when I was ascended, I realized, that I just knew. I knew that what you two had was stronger and much more complicated than the mere attraction of the forbidden.”

Jack glared. “The ‘mere attraction of the forbidden?’”

Daniel shrugged. “Come on, you know how enticing that is. It’s safe. But anyways, that’s what I thought it was at first. But whatever knowledge I gained as an ascended being changed my perception on…things. And all of a sudden all of the alternate realities made sense, and I just figured it would happen one day.”

“Huh.” Jack didn’t think about that kind of crap very often, but maybe there was an argument for the existence of fate after all. “Sam was concerned about the way this was going to affect you and Teal’c… the team dynamic, as it were.”

Daniel shook his head. “She shouldn’t worry on my account. And now that I think of it, probably even less on Teal’c’s. True, our roles in the Stargate program are bound to be different from now on, but…You talk about the team dynamic, as if it’s always been the same, but _she_ should know better than anyone that nothing is ever static. We’ve all changed. And I think you guys have spent quite enough time putting duty, and whatever else, before your own happiness. You deserve a break.”

“I said that!”

“Oh. Good.”

“So this isn’t what’s been on your mind?”

Daniel hesitated. “Well, actually… sort of. It occurred to me that this might be the perfect time for-" 

“Daniel, if you say ‘Atlantis’ I swear to God I’m going to kick you.”

“Jack, just hear me out!”

“Forget it!”

“Look, you’re retiring; Teal’c is most likely going to be working with the new Jaffa nation now more than ever; whatever Sam decides to do she’s more likely to stick around the SGC now that you two are working things out, and… well, where does that leave me?” He paused to take a breath. “Look, I know that makes me sound selfish – childish even. But the truth is, I’m not sure where I belong anymore, and if I can do some good over there… I think that’s where I should go.”

Daniel had never been so eloquent about this before, and Jack hadn’t quite realized how serious he was about this until now.

“Why didn’t you just say so?”

“Are you _kidding_ me?” Daniel looked like Homer Simpson getting ready to strangle Bart.

Jack smirked, but then studied his friend seriously for a few seconds. “Okay. If it’s really what you want.”

Daniel nodded. “I think it is.”

“You know we haven’t heard back from them yet. We don’t know if the back-up was any help or if it got there in time.”

“I know. And I’m not saying I need to go right now, but you know, if things work out, in the near future.”

Though Jack knew that ultimately there was nothing he could do to stop Daniel from going – especially now that he was retiring, part of him still wished that things would stay the same just for a bit longer.

“Jack?" 

“Yeah?”

“I really am happy about you and Sam.”

“Thanks.”

“Jack?”

“Yes, Daniel?”

“Can you pin the worm onto the hook for me? It grosses me out.”

 

* * *

 

 

After a couple of hours Carter and Teal’c finished their training session and joined Jack and Daniel on the dock. 

They both seemed pretty hot after the workout despite the slight chill in the air, so Jack challenged them to take a dive into the pond, mostly as a way of justifying the appreciative look that he had thrown at Sam. For a second the smirk on Carter’s face as she took off her shoes almost convinced him that she was going to do it. But in the end, that’s all she took off, and instead of diving she sat on the edge not too far from Jack’s legs, with her feet dangling in the water. Teal’c, after a suspicious look at the murky and algae-filled water, announced that he was going to take a shower.

Jack sat back and relaxed as Daniel made easy conversation with Sam, closing his eyes and soaking up the warmth from the sun. He must have zoned out for a while, because when he opened his eyes again, Daniel was gone. Sam was still sitting by his legs, face turned upwards and eyes closed, enjoying the sun much in the same way Jack just had.

Jack observed her for a moment, wondering what she was thinking. Moving up from his chair, he went to sit down by her, wincing a little when his knee protested, and stretched his legs along the dock behind her, crossing them at the ankles. Leaning back on his hands, he had a perfect view of her profile.

She turned to give him a smile and Jack smiled back, somehow unable to look away. How in hell had he been able to resist her for so damn long?

And yet he still didn’t dare to touch her, afraid that if he started he would never be able to stop. And they _had_ to take it slow. He wanted to do this by the book, he respected her and the Air Force too much to do otherwise, but the temptation was testing his will like never before. So he decided to follow her lead and let her draw the line wherever she saw fit. And if that meant that he had to wait a few days before kissing her again, then so be it. He had waited for years, a few more days wouldn’t be the end of the world…Right?

“Did you catch anything this morning?” she broke the silence, squinting a little in the sunlight.

“No. Daniel kept yapping away – I think it scared the fish away. Or bored them to death.”

She chuckled a little, shaking her head.

“You were right about Daniel,” Jack announced after a beat.

Her expression froze. “Really?”

“Sort of. He’s feeling left out. He wants to go to Atlantis.”

“Because of us?” she asked, sounding a little hurt.

“I think it’s been on his mind for a while. From what I gather, all of this just brought it home for him that things are going to be different from now on.”

She nodded, a little sadly. “Oh.”

“He said not to worry about him, though. It’s just something he feels like he has to do.” Jack surprised himself a little by defending him.

“But what about SG-1?”

“I don’t know. That’s a discussion you and Teal’c will have to have with him if his project pans out.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.”

Jack turned serious again as he straightened and spun around to sit by her side, shoulders touching and feet dangling. “Hey listen, Daniel said something else that- I guess it made me think about something.”

She looked a little worried. “Okay…?”

“It’s nothing, really, I just… I want you to promise me something. Promise me that whatever happens you’re not going to turn down offers that would advance your career just so you can be close to me.”

She started shaking her head, but Jack interrupted before she could voice her protest.

“Sam, part of the reason why I never acted on my feelings before now was because I didn’t want to come in the way of your career prospects. You know that. I think the same logic applies now.”

“Jack what are you talking about, I’m not gonna- what kinds of offers?”

“I don’t know – promotions, reassignments – whatever. I’m just saying it might happen. And if it does, I don’t want you to turn anything down for the wrong reasons." 

“I think being with you would count as a right reason.”

“Sam, I’m serious.”

“Me too,” she replied forcefully, but her angry tone was somewhat dampened by her snuggling closer and resting her head against his shoulder. Jack’s heart skipped a beat at how strangely familiar that gesture was. In the past, on the few occasions she had done that exact same thing, it had been poignant, bittersweet even, tainted by the fact that that simple gesture had to mean everything and nothing at once. But now that bitterness was no longer required, and Jack relished in the weight of her head against his shoulder.

Sam went on, unaware: “I think I’m big enough to know what I want and what is good for me. And if, and I stress if, anything like what you’re describing happens, it’s something we’ll have to figure out together.”

Jack studied her profile for a moment, sorry that he had offended her, but also slightly annoyed that he couldn’t fault her logic. _They were going to work it out together_ … What was he supposed to say to that? So he nodded slightly and took her hand. “Okay.”

She gave a satisfied nod. “Okay." 

After a moment of silence she sighed. “I can’t believe we’re going back to Colorado tomorrow.”

“Don’t think about it.”

“Hmm, you know it is actually much easier to forget about work up here than I thought it would be.”

Jack’s pulse accelerated at what she seemed to be implying. “Right. Until Thor decides to zap you up. That tends to ruin a vacation.”

She laughed and Jack marveled at the sound and at the feeling of her sitting so close, the warmth of her skin, the way her hair tingled his chin... God he wanted to kiss her again! 

“Sam, what you said before…” he started uneasily, suddenly feeling like he was venturing into unknown territory.

“When?”

“This morning, when you said I was still a general…?”

She suddenly seemed amused. “I think I said you were still _my_ General.”

“Right.” That didn’t help. “Did you mean that we shouldn’t- I mean would you allow-”

“Jack,” she interrupted, turning her face up to catch his eyes. “Stop talking and kiss me.”

He grinned as he leaned in, but stopped right before his lips touched hers. “That’s ‘kiss me General’ to you.”

“Just shut up.”

He did.

 

* * *

 

After tossing and turning for a couple of hours, Sam rose from her bed with a sigh and stealthily padded her way to the kitchen, not wanting to wake anyone. She didn’t know why sleep eluded her again tonight. Shouldn’t she be getting used to the turmoil of emotions by now?

Her feelings for Jack aside, she was also slightly concerned about the future of SG-1. With Daniel gone and Teal’c probably spending most of his time with the Jaffa Nation, maybe she _should_ consider a change in assignment.

The cabin was completely silent and in shadows except for a small night light in the kitchen. Opening the cupboard, she took out a glass and filled it with water before taking a sip.

She just couldn’t imagine a future with SG-1 without Daniel and Teal at her side. Although, she also recalled how hard it had been to imagine SG-1 without O’Neill as their commander in the beginning too. Maybe this was just one of those things that you just had to get used to. As Jack had said, change didn’t always have to be scary.

“Hey.”

Sam jumped, her glass slipping from her fingers and finding the bottom of the sink with a loud clatter. By some physics’ miracle it remained in one piece. She turned around sharply, bringing a hand to her chest as if it would slow down the erratic beating of her heart. Jack was standing in the doorway, still fully dressed.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you,” he said quietly.

In her little tank top and pajama pants, Sam felt spectacularly underdressed under his intense gaze. “No…that’s- that’s fine,” she replied, her heart still beating wildly in her chest. “I thought everyone was asleep.”

He smiled slightly as he leaned his shoulder against the doorframe. “Yeah, well, I couldn’t sleep so I decided to come and bug whomever was up. I was kinda hoping for Daniel. Him I would have startled on purpose.”

Sam smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. They had been able to play it cool in the light of day, but now that it was just the two of them in the dark, the tension was palpable. She didn’t realize until that moment how much she had come to crave his presence, and his touch. They hadn’t been alone much after their talk by the pond, and she had missed him. “Yeah I…” She cleared her throat. “I was thirsty so…”

For an amazing second, he looked like he was ready to pounce, but then he shifted his gaze down to his hands with a nod and Sam breathed a little easier. She knew it was dangerous to stay, but she just couldn’t move. She took advantage of his looking down to observe him more closely. He was still wearing his jeans and he looked so damn good in his t-shirt that she actually had to stop herself from throwing herself into his arms and kissing that spot on his neck that had always tantalized her. He was also walking barefoot, which strangely enough, she’d rarely seen him do before, if ever.

When she looked up he was back to gazing at her, the lazy, almost smug, smile still on his lips.

Knowing that staying would be lethal to her resolution to take it slow, she tried to smile. “I think I should probably… try and get some sleep. I really didn’t sleep well last night, so…” she mumbled, but he merely kept staring at her. Sam felt her heart skip a beat when his eyes traveled down her body briefly before returning to her face.

“Yeah. Probably a good idea.”

Reminded of the similar situation they had faced the night before, she nodded again and pushed herself determinedly away from the counter, resolutely not looking at him as she walked toward the doorway that he was partly blocking. He turned sideways to let her pass and Sam felt his eyes burn on her skin as she approached. The doorway was rather narrow so she had to turn slightly to pass without making contact with him. As she passed by him she could actually feel the heat emanating from his body and it was as enticing as his tall presence. She managed to cross the doorway without touching him and when she found herself in the living room she breathed out in relief. Only a couple of more steps and she’d be back in her roo-

Before she could react her hand was in his and she was pulled back against him. She found herself into his arms again – and boy was it where she _wanted_ to be – his hands moving to her bare shoulders and their warmth making her shiver from head to toes. She looked up to meet his eyes, but he was all seriousness and intensity and the lazy smile he’d worn before was gone as he looked down at her, his face only inches away and his breath coming in short rasps.

The intense heat in his eyes challenged all of Sam’s prior reasoning; he really was _almost_ retired, and the fact that the paperwork hadn’t gone through yet didn’t mean that it wasn’t official. Right? God she wanted him!

“Sam…”

Her name on his breath was her undoing.

Sliding her hands around his sides, she slowly stepped closer into his embrace. She couldn’t help but smile softly at how surprised he looked that she would actually voluntarily step into his arms, but he soon recovered. His hands slid down her shoulders in a feather light touch as he leaned in closer, his nose bumping hers in a caress before Sam titled her head up and his lips finally met hers.

After a soft caress of his lips against hers, something suddenly shifted, their kiss burning with new intensity as his mouth became more demanding. This kiss was so different from the ones they’d exchanged before, Sam actually felt her knees weaken at its unbridled passion and hunger. Gone was the astonished reverence she’d detected before; his hands wandered away from her face so quickly they seemed to be everywhere at once: in her hair, on her shoulder, pressing against her lower back, on her stomach, sliding down her bare arms, making her skin come alive in a way she hadn’t felt in a long time. She sighed against his mouth when his fingers found the skin between her pajamas and her tank top at her lower back and he responded by pressing her even closer to him.

Sam’s hands were about to discover the skin under his t-shirt when he suddenly pulled back and brought back his hands to her shoulders. He was panting heavily and he closed his eyes for a moment, leaning his head back on the doorframe behind him, his shaking fingers going up and down the shivering skin of her arms. Sam rested her forehead against his chest, trying to regain some sort of composure while still reveling in the feel and scent of him. She felt his lips kiss her temple and he pushed her slightly away, keeping her at arms length with hands on her shoulders.

“I’m seriously wondering right now why I didn’t make Hammond sign the damn papers right when I gave them to him,” he said between short breaths.

Sam smiled as she took a little step back and took his hand to give it a squeeze. “Don’t ask _me_ …” Her body was crying at her to finish what they’d started, but she knew better, so she kissed his hand briefly before letting it go. This was too important to rush into and she was grateful to him for remembering to do things right when she couldn’t. “I really should get back to sleep now.’

“Yeah…I think I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” he replied as he made his way into the living room, putting some distance between them.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She was halfway to her room when she turned to him again. He was putting on his coat and boots. “Jack,” that got his attention, and earned her a quick smile, “just in case you still had any lingering doubts… I thought you might want to know: I love you too.”

He stopped moving and turned slowly in her direction, his hand on the handle. She met his eyes and immediately recognized the glint of happiness and hunger that flashed through them. He grinned and turned the handle. “Just a few more days, Carter. A few more days. Then I’m asking for your number and taking you out to dinner.”

Sam made a dubious face. “Except that’s not gonna work.”

He looked nonplussed. “Why the hell not?”

She tried to hide her smile. “For one you already have my number, and second, to be honest I’d rather just skip dinner.”

She could tell he was fighting hard not to cross the distance that separated them again, so she decided to make his life a little easier. “Good night, _sir_.”

 

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

A week passed before Sam even had the chance to register that it had gone by. SG-1 had been busy with the countless diplomatic meetings and ceremonies with the Jaffas, and the sudden arrival of hundreds of wounded soldiers and civilians from the recent Wraith attack on Atlantis. While the official briefings with the crew were not scheduled until the following week, the stories those who had returned ahead of the senior personnel brought back were bone chilling. Sam sincerely hoped to never have to come face to face with a Wraith herself. It even seemed to have dimmed Daniel’s eagerness for his reassignment to Atlantis. Just a little.

With all of this happening on base, Sam had barely seen Jack over the course of the week, let alone spoken with him. All of their interactions had been brief and work-related and Sam was starting to wonder – with no small amount of frustration – whether the future they had talked about was ever going to happen, or whether she had dreamed the whole thing. But then her eyes would meet his unexpectedly during a briefing, or she would spy a small, secret smile that would send her heart racing as they passed each other in the corridor, and she’d know.

It had been real, and it was only the beginning.

It occurred to Sam that it was at moments like these that she missed her friend Janet the most; not only would Dr. Fraiser’s grounded presence and professionalism have been comforting to all the wounded on the base, but Sam longed now more than ever for the steadfast ear of her friend. So much had happened, there was so much to talk about, yet she found herself reluctant to discuss any of these things with her teammates. Daniel and Teal’c could be great listeners, she knew that from experience, but there were just some things that she couldn’t share with them. And even less with Jack – at least, not yet, not so soon.

But then who else could she share with the fragment of doubt that sometimes sneaked into her mind that Jack would lose interest once she truly was within his reach? The rational part of her knew that this was a ridiculous notion for anyone who truly knew Jack O’Neill, but she couldn’t help this or other questions from fermenting in her mind… What if it didn’t work out? What if the unequal balance of power that had defined their relationship for so long never evened out? Not that she let those doubts cloud her happiness and hope for the future, but still… she couldn’t help but wonder, and maybe fret a little. And the fact that she had barely seen him over the week only made her anxieties grow out of proportion.

So when Sunday came she was as nervous as she was relieved to drive away from Cheyenne Mountain, put on a summer dress and drive to Jack’s place for the little gathering with Teal’c and Daniel that he had organized to ‘celebrate the nice weather,’ as he’d said. It certainly looked like summer had made an early appearance for the weekend, with its hot sun and warm breeze. However Sam couldn’t help but be dubious as to Jack’s true motives for this little gathering. Maybe a way to celebrate his retirement…? But no, better to keep her hopes to herself.

She parked next to his truck in his driveway and walked to the door, anticipation and nervousness tightening her stomach. She rang the bell, but there was no answer, so Sam walked around the house to the back.

She spotted him on the patio, grilling what looked like hamburger patties, so focused he hadn’t seen her coming. She stopped, suddenly struck breathless with the uncanny familiarity of the scene. She had to consciously shake away the uneasy pang at the memory of the last time she had been here. That was the past, Sam reminded herself as she tried to calm her nerves, clutching her handbag with both hands. _This,_ she told herself, is what matters. This time he knew she was coming, in fact he was _waiting_ for her. The thought reassured her and she grinned as she took in the sight of him in Bermuda shorts and t-shirt, looking as relaxed as she’d ever seen him, sunglasses hanging loosely around his neck.

God he was a sight for sore eyes!

For a moment she forgot all of her doubts as she focused on her knowledge that _this_ was real. That some day soon she would _finally_ be able to put the anxiety and bitter-sweetness of countless stolen moments behind her. Including the anxiety she had felt only a few weeks ago as she had stood in that exact same spot.

“Déjà vu,” she said with a smile as she resumed walking.

His eyes lit up when they found her, and Sam mentally congratulated herself as she noticed his subtle appreciative look at her choice of dress. The dark blue piece was far from being particularly revealing, but it definitely showed more skin than BDUs – although all things considered that wasn’t a very challenging feat.

“Hey!” he greeted. Then registering what she’d said, he frowned a little. “It’s not weird, is it? The déjà vu thing? Cause we could eat out…” he said as he put down his grilling instruments.

Sam grinned as she climbed the couple of steps to the patio, drinking in the sight of him. God she had missed him over the last few days! “No, no. This is great, I promise.”

She stopped only once she was right at his side, forcing herself not to stare at every inch of him and instead looking down to examine his handiwork.

“Hope you’re hungry,” he said.

“It smells great, am I early?”

She looked up with a smile and was startled to find him staring down at her with a mix of tenderness and hunger so familiar and yet so _new_ that it took her breath away. And with that single, warm look, all of her fears vanished; this man had quietly, poignantly loved her for years, never pressuring her, never asking for anything… and being there for her every single time she had ever needed him. How could she ever doubt the strength or steadfastness of his feelings for her? Jack O’Neill was one of the most loyal men she knew.

She felt herself flush at the implication and she suddenly became acutely aware of his presence, and the way the warmth in the air seemed to make her skin tingle. For a second she envied the easiness with which they had eased into physical closeness over the last weekend – now it felt as though they had fallen back into their military personas and had lost what little headway they had made. Back to square one.

And apparently he felt the same way, because he didn’t make a move to touch her at all. Instead, his eyes bore into hers even as his words turned playful. “Knowing how anal you are about being right on time all the goddamn time, I’d say it’s much more likely that Daniel and Teal’c are late.”

“Good point,” Sam replied, then cleared her throat at how husky her voice sounded.

His eyes darkened and he finally moved, sliding his arm around her waist slowly, as if asking for her permission. When she leaned into him he pulled her a little closer into his side, his hand white-hot on her waist through the thin cotton of her dress. She held his gaze for a long moment, reveling in the way his eyes seemed to pull her in, and feeling the warmth of his body against hers and his arm strong around her waist. God, her entire body ached with the need to kiss him – how in the world had she been able to resist him for so long? How had she been able to resist that constant pull she felt in the pit of her stomach every time he looked her way? She had felt it for as long as she could remember, and now… Now she could actually let herself feel it, embrace it, and better yet, act on it. Just as she was about to lean in to bridge the gap, he leaned back slightly and started looking around, as if to make sure no one was looking in on them.

“Are you afraid the Pentagon’s spying on you through the bushes?” Sam asked, as she turned around to follow his gaze, trying to decide whether she was amused or just downright frustrated.

His lips quirked up. “Normally I wouldn’t give a damn but… I invited Hammond. He’s in town for a couple of briefings.” He gave her a small shrug of apology. “And knowing our luck he’s gonna be just as obsessive about punctuality as you are.”

“Oh.” Sam stepped out of his embrace and his arm dropped slowly, just as reluctant as she felt. As much as she wanted not to care, the thought of having to convince Hammond that their relationship was in fact a recent development was too mortifying to even consider. She had too much respect for the general to risk losing his trust and good opinion.

“Well, hopefully this will be one of the last times that something like that can stop us…” Sam said, trying to sound playful as she leaned back against the handrail. But her comment didn’t have quite the desired effect of diffusing the tension, instead making Jack pin her with such an intense look that her hands gripped the wood behind her.

After a second his eyes darted away and he returned his attention to the burgers. “Damn right.” He cleared his throat. “You want anything to drink? There’s some beer and wine inside if you’d like?”

“Sure, do you want anything? I can go get it,” Sam replied quickly as she all but fled into his house. She almost missed his “I’ll have a beer” as she closed the door behind her. She exhaled as she told herself to relax. Everything was fine. They had all the time in the world.

And more importantly: he was still her CO. They couldn’t rush this.

Oh but how she wanted to!

Especially now that she knew from actual experience what his lips tasted like, or how his hands could be gentle and demanding at once… Of course she had instinctively known that from the first moments of their acquaintance – even as they had started to get to know each other, Captain Carter had noticed his hands. Especially the way they often betrayed his tough military façade and revealed a gentler – but no less intense – side. Which was probably why he kept them in his pockets most of the time 

_Get a grip, Carter!_ she told herself as she gathered the drinks.

When she came back outside she felt a little bit more relaxed and he was back to flipping burgers. She handed him a beer as she returned to her spot by the rail and took a sip of her red wine.

“Hey can I ask you something?” Jack asked after a second, now busy with the buns.

“Okay…”

He stopped his movement to face her. “I just gotta ask: what would you have said that day you showed up if the moment hadn’t turned out so… 

“Mortifying?” Sam suggested.

He blinked. “I was gonna say ‘awkward’ but yeah, okay.”

Sam frowned slightly as she thought back to that day. She had spent she couldn’t remember how long in her car, rehearsing to herself the exact words that she was going to use, but then it had come out completely different as soon as she’d seen him and he’d asked her something. She didn’t remember what. And she couldn’t quite remember just how far she had gone before they had been interrupted. “Does it matter now?”

“Well no… I guess it doesn’t.” He shrugged with a crooked smile. “But you know me, I like to beat myself up for my mistakes. It’s a favorite pastime of mine.”

Sam shook her head at his self-deprecating comment, sighing. “If you really want to know, I was trying to summon up the courage to tell you that… that all the what-ifs and unresolved feelings between us were the main reason why I-”

The muffled sound of the doorbell interrupted as both their attention turned towards the sound. They exchanged a look as Jack moved past her to go answer the door.

Interrupted – again. Hopefully this wouldn’t be the story for the rest of their lives. There was only so much frustration one could take! Sam straightened up as she heard General Hammond’s deep baritone resonate through the house and seconds later Jack appeared through the patio door with the man himself in tow, who smiled affectionately when he saw her.

“Colonel Carter! Sam, how are you?” he asked as he kissed her cheek in greeting.

“General, sir, it’s wonderful to see you!”

“Would you like anything to drink, sir?” Jack asked.

“I’ll have a beer if it’s not too much trouble.”

Jack smiled. “Of course not, sir, I’ll be right back.”

As Jack disappeared into the house, Sam entered in a catch-up conversation with Hammond. She had truly missed him over the last year, and it was good to see him again.

“So I hear some changes are in store for you?” he asked just as Jack reappeared behind his shoulder. Jack froze, then frantically gestured with his hands something Sam believed to mean that Hammond didn’t know about the two of them.

“There you go, sir,” Jack said as he started moving again and handed Hammond his beer.

“Ah, thanks Jack.”

Sam smiled at the general. “Yes, sir, with General O’Neill gone, things are bound to be quite… different around the base.” She threw Jack an impish look and he narrowed his eyes in return. “But he will be missed. Just as you are, sir.”

“Now don’t go all mushy on me, Carter,” Jack drawled as he returned to his spot and removed the meat and buns from the grill.

“Life moves on, Colonel,” Hammond replied to Sam, smiling. “As will the SGC without the two of us."

“Yes sir,” Sam nodded, a little saddened by the idea in spite of herself.

Hammond turned to Jack. “Have you been told who’s taking your chair?”

“Yes sir, I just found out.” He threw Sam a quick apologetic look. “I was waiting for the boys to share the news…”

“Well, who is it?” Sam asked with undisguised curiosity.

“General Hank Landry,” Hammond replied.

Sam shook her head. “Doesn’t sound familiar.”

“I think everyone will find him a worthy commanding officer and leader,” Hammond reassured her. “He’s a good man and he has one advantage over me when I took this job: he knows what he’s getting into.”

“I don’t know sir, that might just mean he’s crazier than the rest of us,” Jack replied.

Sam smiled. “ _You_ knew what you were getting into, sir,” she pointed out teasingly.

“True,” he conceded. “But I was just in for the bigger office, whereas Landry apparently actually _requested_ this job. So I stand by my earlier statement: definitely crazier.”

Smiling and shaking her head, Sam was about to ask Hammond when the change would be official, but Hammond resumed speaking before she had a chance to open her mouth. “But I hear you might not get the opportunity to work under him yourself, Colonel, given the changes I hear are in store for you, personally?”

Sam looked at him curiously, wondering for a second whether he knew about the events of last weekend after all.

At her confused look, Hammond turned to look at Jack. “You haven’t told her?”

Jack was suddenly very serious, and Sam’s heart filled with dread at the way his entire body seemed to tense. “Told her what?” he asked carefully as he threw her a quick look. Sam couldn’t decide whether it was guilty or just apprehensive.

“About the new position at Area 51,” Hammond explained, his tone changing as he realized that Sam had no idea what he was talking about. She couldn’t tell whether Jack did.

Sam shook her head as if to clear it. “I’m sorry, a new position sir?”

Hammond looked between her and Jack for a few seconds. “Well, maybe I’ve said too much, but now that the cat is out of the bag… You didn’t know about this?” he asked Jack again.

“This is the first I hear of it, sir.” He took a sip from his beer.

Sam eyed him a little suspiciously. How could he not have known? Their conversation on the dock of his pond last weekend seemed to suggest that he knew even then that something was coming. Why hadn’t he just told her then?

“Well, then, I suppose I’ll have the honor of making the offer,” Hammond continued with a smile. “There’s a new position opening to run the Stargate R&D department out of Area 51. The Pentagon and IOA could think of no better candidate for the job than you, Colonel.”

Sam swallowed hard. “Am I being reassigned, sir?”

“Oh no, this is a voluntary position, Colonel. But we do hope that you’ll consider taking it.”

Sam threw a quick look at Jack, but his eyes were downcast and she couldn’t read his expression.

“Well, I- I don’t know what to say, sir. Truly, I’m flattered… but -”

General Hammond smiled as he patted her hand, interrupting her. “Just think about it. You’ll no doubt receive an official offer over the next few days. This will merely give you some extra time to consider. I know how much the SGC has meant to you,” he continued, his tone softening, “it’s a special place for all of us who have had the privilege to experience it, but I hope you’ll still consider this offer. And needless to say it would be a tremendous advancement for your career.”

“Yes sir, thank you…”

“Hey guys, sorry we’re late!” Daniel’s voice broke the awkward silence that was starting to settle as he and Teal’c appeared around the corner and walked up to the patio. “We brought a peace offering,” Daniel added as he pointed to the box Teal’c was carrying, which smelled suspiciously like doughnuts. Teal’c gave the box to Jack, who still seemed a little shell-shocked from the previous discussion.

He recovered quickly. “Ah, dessert! The best form of bribery. I better take this inside.” As Teal’c and Daniel greeted General Hammond, Sam, under the pretense of getting drinks for the boys, followed Jack into the house.

“Did you know about this?” she asked as she caught up with him in the kitchen, her tone sounding more accusatory than she intended. She wasn’t mad, but just…confused. He dropped the box onto the table and opened the fridge door. A second later he closed it again, brusquely, and Sam almost flinched at the gesture. He was obviously upset, but she wasn’t sure why.

He kept silent for a long moment, but then sighed. “I knew it was coming, or rather that the position was opening up and that they wanted to offer it to you…but I didn’t know when,” he finally replied, avoiding her gaze and sounding a little deflated.

“You could have said.”

His eyes suddenly bore into her and she saw a fear she had rarely seen flash across his face. “Would it have made a difference?”

He didn’t need to be explicit for Sam to know that he was talking about the two of them. “I don’t know.”

He cringed and nodded, as if she was confirming his deepest fears. “Well then. There you go.” He shook his head in frustration. “Look, I meant what I said last week – I don’t want you to refuse anything because of me. God knows you deserve this, this kind of recognition. I don’t want to stand in the way. I won’t.”

“But?” Please let there be a ‘but’, Sam thought.

“But,” he leaned against the counter, hands flat on the surface, looking at her sideways. “I guess I was hoping that we could have some time to ourselves… You know, have a normal relationship like normal people before we’d have to make decisions like that, I—I guess I was trying to convince myself that this time we could actually have a shot at making this work.”

Sam’s heart went out to him as she realized that he had been going through doubts and fears of his own. How could he seriously worry that this changed anything? Sam was as sick of putting duty in front of their feelings as he was, especially now. In fact, she understood his desire for retirement much better than he probably imagined; in a lot of ways she felt that her job was done, too. Of course she loved it and she wouldn’t consider retirement herself, but she definitely understood. She walked the gap that separated them. “Well then, forget it.”

“What?” he straightened, turning to face her again.

She reached out, snaking her fingers around his forearm. “Forget the job offer and the what-ifs. None of that matters now. I stand by what I said last week, too.”

A flicker of hope brightened his eyes, though the rest of him was still guarded. “Which part?”

Suddenly not caring what Hammond might or might not see, Sam stepped closer and looked up to catch his eyes, making sure that he held her gaze. “All of it. But especially the part about how we would figure it out together, if something like that happened. I’m willing to consider the offer, after all Nevada isn’t that far away, but I’m also willing to refuse it if we decide it’s the right thing to do.”

He studied her expression for a moment, then sighed and pulled her against him, folding her into his arms. “You’re crazy, you know that?” Sam smiled and breathed him in as she snuggled against him. He smelled of laundry detergent, smoke from the grill and his own unique scent that made her toes curl. “Couldn’t they just give us a break?” he asked against her neck, his voice muffled.

The sensation of his breath and lips moving against her skin made her shiver. Smiling at his petulant tone, she tightened her arms around his torso. “Who’s ‘they’?" 

“Whoever keeps throwing those curve balls at us. It’s mean. I think the Universe’s in league with the Pentagon.”

Sam’s smile widened as she nodded her agreement. “Yes, a break would be nice.” She sighed. Boy, the man could hug! “ _This_ is nice. I’ve missed it.”

Jack pulled back just enough to look into her eyes, his hand moving up to cup her cheek. Sam held his gaze for a moment, before he leaned in and kissed her, slowly.

“This is pretty damn nice too,” she mumbled as their lips separated briefly before joining once again, this time a little faster, a little hungrier, Sam’s fingers threading into his hair as she pulled him even closer. God that felt- 

“Hey Jack, where’s the- oh! Never mind…" 

They both froze at the sound of Daniel’s voice.

“Seriously?” Sam whispered in frustration, earning a small smile from Jack as he leaned back a little, though he kept his arm around her and turned toward Daniel…

Only to find him gone.

“Where the hell did he go? I guess it’s our cue to go back anyway,” Jack added as he turned back to her. “We wouldn’t want Hammond to wonder what’s keeping us, would we?” he said as he stepped back and dropped his arms to his sides.

“Actually I’ve been thinking… it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to tell him,” Sam suggested.                                                                            

He raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”

She shrugged. “After it’s official, sure, why not? I think he would be happy for us. Besides, he has to have an inkling – he’s read the reports, I’m sure he’s always known a lot more than he ever let on. He didn’t make it general by being unobservant.”

“Oh I don’t know Carter, up until that day you showed up here a few weeks ago, even _I_ was never sure of anything. And I’m pretty sure if I was fooled, the rest of the world was too.”

Sam was surprised, and a little distraught at this. His logic was flawed, but… “But… Come on, you must have known how much I cared about you. I tried not to let it show, but I have never stopped caring.”

His hands found her shoulders in a reassuring caress. “I know that. I’ve always known that you cared. I guess the mystery was in just _how much_ you cared.”

How much she had cared? Too much to be professional, too much to not notice when he wasn’t in the room, too much to ignore it when he was. Sam’s hand found the hair at the back of his neck. “I’ve cared --”

“A lot more than you were supposed to?” he suggested with crooked smile.

The swirl of memories that these words evoked were bittersweet and maybe a little bit painful, and they shared a sigh. They had never really discussed that… incident… which in a way had been the beginning of years of mixed resignation, hope and denial. But, Sam decided, now wasn’t the time. She moved back and squeezed his hand one last time before disentangling herself fully from his arms. “Let’s go eat something and forget about the offer for now. I just want to enjoy the evening.”

A slow smile quirked up the corner of his mouth. “I can do that.”

oo0oo

 

Later that night they shared a bench in front of a fire Jack had built in the backyard after dinner. The others had gone not too long ago, but Sam had lingered behind, helping with the clean up, and waiting for an opportunity for the two of them to be alone. Jack hadn’t commented on her lingering, and instead had silently offered her a sweatshirt once they were done cleaning so they could go back to the fire ring.

The night was clear and the stars were beautiful overhead, but Sam’s gaze was drawn hypnotically to the dancing flames as she sat, comfortably resting against his side. They hadn’t spoken much since the others had left, both lost in their own thoughts. For once it seemed the tension between them had abated somewhat, leaving them in comfortable silence. Oh it was still there, like a low-frequency vibration in the background, but at this particular moment it seemed they were both content to just sit together. Finally rediscovering that closeness they had found last week.

“I know this is going to sound drastic, but I don’t care about my career prospects right now,” Sam stated suddenly, breaking the silence.

With his arm draped around her shoulder, he gave her upper arm a brief squeeze, pulling her closer into his side as he did so. “Yeah you do,” he retorted. “Of course you care.”

She gave a tired smile. “Okay you’re right, maybe I do, a little.” She sighed. “I guess right now I’m just tired of the sacrifices, you know?”

She felt him nod. “So what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know… I mean head of R&D – that sounds pretty…”

“Impressive?” he supplied.

Sam grinned. “I’m glad you think so, but I was gonna say ‘fun’.”

“Hmm, that too, I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing.” She chuckled softly. “Did I hear a ‘but’ in there?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know if I can bear to stay away from the action – going through the gate… It’s just, I would really miss it, the physical challenge, the adrenaline rush, the exploration.”

“Yeah. I know.”

She tilted her head to look up at him. “How did _you_ do it?”

He shrugged. “It was a little bit hard at first to watch you guys go without me, I’m not gonna lie, but… I guess I got used to it. I’ve been reassigned enough times in my career to know how to take change in stride and not look back. Embrace new challenges, so to speak.”

Sam sighed. “I wish it were that easy.”

“I’m not saying it was... But, like Hammond said, things are going to be different from now on, especially for SG-1.”

Of course he was right, and Sam _had_ been a little distraught at the idea of SG-1 without the guys since Daniel had announced his desire for reassignment, especially now that Jack wouldn’t be around either. “Right, and I know that in a way it _is_ kind of good timing,” she agreed. “I just wish the job didn’t involve moving away. Not now…” _That I’ve finally got you_ , Sam added mentally.

“Mah, like you said, Nevada’s not so far away. Besides, from what I know about R&D projects right now, a lot of it is about upgrading our ships. You’d probably end up working up there,” he said as he pointed his finger towards the stars, “most of the time anyway.”

“And as much fun as that would be, it’s not helping with my conundrum.”

“So maybe I was hoping you could use that beaming technology to come home at the end of the day. Are you saying that’s not happening?”

Sam grinned into his shoulder. “I wish.”

“Alright, then, let’s think about the pros. We’ve already established the ‘fun’ part. That’s good, you could use some more fun in your life.”

“I thought that’s why I kept you around.”

Sam turned her head just in time to see his brief stunned look at her teasing before he turned playful again. “Don’t start something you’re not planning on finishing, Carter.” His fingers squeezed her arm affectionately, negating his warning tone. “Alright, so what else?”

Sam bit her tongue against the flirty reply that sprang to mind at his comment, and instead focused on their conversation, deciding to heed his warning despite the joking tone of the delivery. “Career advancement.”

“Salary increase, better parking spot, future promotions… But we’ve established that you care ‘only a little’ about that.”

She ignored his teasing. “More flexibility with my schedule.”

That seemed to surprise him. “Is that right?”

She shrugged. “From what Hammond was saying, it almost sounds like I would make up my own schedule.”

“That’s kinda cool.”

She nodded. “So that would mean I could squeeze in my hours during the week to make my weekends longer, or something. That way I’d be able to come and visit.”

“Good, that’s good. And I could visit too.”

“Of course.”

There was a pause, then he leaned in closer, his voice suddenly deep and his breath tingling her ear. “Sam, we’re gonna make this work. You’ll figure out how to work your schedule, and we’re going to make this work.”

She let out a relieved sigh as it suddenly dawned on her: deep down she had already made her decision, and she had only been waiting for his seal of approval. And of course, somehow, he had known that. Oh how well he knew her! “I know.” She smiled as she reached out and intertwined their fingers, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“I’m serious, whatever it takes. There’s no getting out of this now, so don’t even think about it.” He was joking, but Sam squeezed his hand, just in case.

“I won’t.”

“Good.” He leaned in to brush his lips against her hair in a light kiss, and before Sam could react, he was leaning away to face her. “Hey, that ‘figuring things out together’ worked out pretty well, I’d say?”

Sam grinned. “Yeah, surprisingly, much better than I thought.” She paused as she met his eyes seriously. “Thank you.”

He tilted his head to the side slightly, studying her curiously. “What for?”

“Just…being you, I guess.”

He looked relieved. “Oh, well! That’s easy enough.”

Sam chuckled, and returned her head to his shoulder. They fell silent, lost in the sound of the fire crackling and crickets chirping. Sam was starting to feel sleepy as she sat, perfectly relaxed and warm in his arms, eyes mesmerized by the flames. If she was ever going to move away from this feeling of well-being, it was now or never. So she shifted, removing her head from his shoulder and getting ready to stand up.

“I should get going,” she announced as she stood. He let go of her hand, but stood as well, facing her.

“Okay. I’ll walk you to your car.”

They were silent as they made their way, the strange tension back between them tenfold as they walked side by side far enough that their shoulders barely touched. Sam felt the chill now that she was away from the fire and his body heat, and she fought a shiver as she opened her car door and he held it open for her.

Deciding that a little boldness could go a long way in ending this night in the positive light it deserved, Sam leaned over the door to softly kiss the corner of his mouth. “Thanks for today, I needed this,” she added, gesturing between the two of them.

His lips quirked up. “Yes well, don’t tell the others, but they were just an excuse.”

Her smiled turned into a grin. “I won’t. I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”

“0800, sharp,” he confirmed.

She nodded, somehow suddenly rooted to the spot, as if her entire body was striking against physically walking away form him. He seemed to sense her turmoil as his eyes suddenly burnt with a new intensity, but he still took a step back, diving his hands into his pockets. He gave an almost imperceptible nod that Sam understood as encouragement as well as acknowledgement that _this_ – the parting – seemed to be getting increasingly difficult.

His gesture somewhat broke the spell and Sam was able to move again, though it was still surprisingly difficult to break the eye contact, as if their gazes were connected by some kind of invisible link. But she did manage to break it after a couple of seconds, and got into her car. “Good night,” she said before she closed the door and started up the engine. 

She raised her hand in a wave before backing out of his driveway, smiling as she saw him return the gesture.

 

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

Jack had just dropped his grocery bags onto the kitchen table when the doorbell rang. Curious, he made his way back down the corridor, tossing his dripping raincoat onto the couch as he passed. 

He opened the door and… stared. “Carter!” he shook his head. “Sam!” Not that he wasn’t thrilled to see her, but she rarely left her lab so early in the evenings, and he had not expected her to be, well…here.

She stood on the porch, eyes studying him with a mix of agitation and anticipation, the sleeves and shoulders of her denim jacket sprinkled with rainwater from the distance she’d had to walk from the car. The first thing that crossed Jack’s mind was to wonder how come her hair wasn’t wet. 

“Can I come in?” she asked with a small, almost nervous smile, jolting him out of his surprise. 

“Of course, come on in!” he replied, ushering her in. “Sorry, I just got home myself, I was at the grocery-”

“I just found out.”

“- store…” Jack stared for longer than was probably reasonable. It explained her sudden appearance on his doorstep, but... “How?” he asked dumbly.

She frowned a little. “I was talking to Hammond about the new position and he happened to mention it. To be honest I thought I’d be the first person you told,” she added in a joking tone that did nothing to disguise her confusion.

“You are – I mean you were going to be.” At her look he went on. “I haven’t told anyone. I was hoping to surprise you. Hammond must have found out through other channels.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” There was an awkward silence. “Surprise!” he added and she smiled. Annoyed with the tension that seemed to infuse the air around them, Jack forced himself to snap out of it. There was no need for that anymore. But habits died hard and her apparent nervousness didn’t help. 

“Here, let me take your jacket,” he offered. “So you told Hammond you’re taking the Area 51 job, huh?” Jack asked as she shrugged out of her jacket, revealing the familiar standard issue SGC black t-shirt underneath, which made him realize she had been in a big enough rush not to stop home before coming here. Trying his best not to think too much about the implications, he hung her jacket carefully onto the coat rack.

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” she confirmed.

“When do you start?”

“Next week. Monday. Well, I’ll be leaving Sunday night, I guess.”

“Wow.” So soon…

“Yeah.” There was the awkward silence again as they stared at each other. This time she broke it. “So it’s true then, you’re officially retired?” 

“According to this little letter I got from the Pentagon, yes, I am.”

“Wow,” she replied as she stood, hands clasped in front of her and looking at him intently, searching. “Are you okay?”

Oh she was good. He really was okay with his decision, he had been ready for retirement for a while, but still, he would be lying if he said that a part of him wasn’t a little sad to leave it all behind. And of course she knew that.

“Sure,” Jack replied as he started walking towards the kitchen, inviting her to follow. “I’ve been retired before, remember?” he added as he resumed putting away his groceries. 

“Yes, but this is hardly the same thing.”

Jack smiled as he threw her a look. “No, it isn’t.” How could it be? She was here. Sam Carter was standing in his kitchen, and for the first time since he’d known her, there was nothing standing between them, metaphorically or otherwise. (Not counting of course the loop thing. Or the couple of times he had retired to save the day. Those hadn’t been real, permanent resignations.) The thought made his pulse accelerate with the urge to bridge the gap between them, but he summoned the strength that had kept him from doing just that over the last several years and stayed where he was. 

He wasn’t quite sure why. 

She tilted her head in an endearingly embarrassed fashion when she understood his undertone, deflecting the implications. “So, what now?” she asked curiously as she swept the room with her eyes. He knew she was talking in general terms about his plans for the future, but he couldn’t help teasing.

“Well, first things first… I was thinking a celebratory beer would be in order. Care to join me?”

“I would love to.”

Acutely aware that this was truly uncharted territory, he hesitated, his hand on the fridge door handle. “You um, you want to go out for those drinks?” 

“Here’s fine,” she replied, a small, mysterious smile suddenly touching the corner of her lips that sent his blood pumping. But then she frowned. “That is, if that’s okay with you…? I just thought, you know, since it’s raining…” she added, as if that had ever stopped anyone from driving before. It certainly had not stopped her from coming over.

“Right.” Smiling, he got a couple of beers from the fridge and handed one to her. They clinked their bottles after twisting the caps off. “To…the future,” Jack toasted as he looked into her eyes.

“I’ll drink to that.” Her voice was suddenly very soft and her gaze became earnest as she met his eyes. The desire to kiss her was almost too much, but she saved him by taking a sip from her bottle. He imitated her.

They were silent for a moment and Jack took in the opportunity to drink in her beautiful features: the wide, beautiful eyes, straight nose, delicate angle of her jaw, the elegance of her neck…

“Jack,” her voice jostled him out of his observation. “Are you sure you’re okay with me being here like this?” He noticed her fingers were fiddling with her bottle’s label. 

Jack blinked in surprise. “You’re kidding, right?” 

She gave an uncertain shrug. “Well, retirement is a huge thing, and I imagine especially retiring from the SGC, and if you need more time alone to process…?”

“No! No it’s all good- all been processed. You stay right where you are.” He paused. “That is, unless you need to --”

“No, no…” She gave a small shrug, but he could detect some amusement in her expression at the ridiculousness of the situation. “It’s just, this feels a little…” She hesitated. “I don’t know. Does this feel weird?” 

“Does it?”

She gave him a ‘don’t do that’ kind of look. 

“Maybe,” Jack conceded. “A little.”

“Why? I mean--” She shook her head in frustration. “I thought it would be easier, you know?”

“What?”

“This! Us!”

“Sam you just got here…” 

“I know, I know. But I thought, once it was official, we would just be able to…let go.” She blushed in a very endearing way, but kept on going in spite of her embarrassment. He’d always known she was brave, but he found himself once more admiring her courage at being able to talk about their relationship with such straightforwardness. Although, all things considered she had always been gutsier than him when it came to addressing their feelings: her visit to his house not so long ago, another visit when he’d had Ancient knowledge downloaded into his brain… And even during the whole Zaytarc thing, he still remembered how she’d walked up to him, talking about their feelings as if they had always been in the open… as if she’d always known how he’d felt about her. Well, maybe she had – he wasn’t the most subtle of guys after all. And maybe she had known, deep down, that he would never put her in an awkward position by taking the first step. 

“I mean the last few weeks-” her voice brought him back to the present, “we’ve been getting closer, and it’s been great but now, I just can’t seem to--” She cut herself off with a frustrated sigh, giving him a questioning look as if asking whether she made sense.

“Let go?” Jack suggested, repeating her own words back to her, suddenly realizing that unconsciously he was feeling the exact same thing. That explained why his first reflex was to hold himself back when the thought of touching or kissing her crossed his mind. Which admittedly happened a lot. 

“I guess a habit that was years in the making is hard to shake off at the snap of the fingers, isn’t it?” he said.

She looked relieved that he understood. “And now that the way’s clear, it’s almost… overwhelming. I mean- this just reminded me how much I’ve been clutching to the regs and the war with the Goa’uld for safety. Emotional safety, I mean.”

Jack could have told her that years ago. In fact for a long time he had wondered whether her interest in him had just come from that sense of security: he was unattainable, he was safe. But now that safety net was gone. Of course now Jack knew better than to doubt that her feelings for him ran deeper, but it didn’t stop the fact that apparently she was more than a little scared. And to be totally honest he wasn’t completely immune either, though his fear revolved around the likelihood that he was gonna mess up. 

Jack sighed as he walked up to her. “Look, you gotta cut yourself some slack, Sam. There’s no pressure here. Despite our history this is still kind of new.”

“But see, that’s the thing – I don’t want to cut myself some slack, I don’t want to wait. I’m so sick of waiting!” 

Jack was dumbstruck at her words. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Was it possible that he had gotten this all wrong? He had convinced himself that she would want to take it slow, that the entirety of their relationship was too loaded with tensions and ‘unsaids’ to just bypass. And that in order to do right by her, he had to let her take the lead and not rush anything. But apparently she’d had very different expectations!

And suddenly he understood the expectant glint in her eyes, and realized that the ‘weirdness’ she was talking about all came from him, and his own reluctance to let go – which ironically had mostly been for her sake. He suddenly felt very, very stupid. Even more so than usual. 

But he sure wasn’t stupid enough to fight her on this!

“So what are we going to do?” she asked, apparently unaware of the effects her words had on him. 

His newfound knowledge prompted him into action and, for the first time since his retirement was official, he let himself touch her. Setting down his beer bottle on the table, he reached out to trace the length of her forearm on its way down to her hand, and marveled at the way his fingers left goosebumps in their wake. He smiled mentally at her sharp intake of breath. Her response reassured him that he wasn’t misunderstanding her. He gently pried her bottle from her fingers and set it down next to his.

“I don’t know,” Jack finally replied to her question. “But let’s see if this helps.” His fingers tugged on her hand slightly and she took his invitation to step closer, holding his gaze expectantly, though a little uncertainly. His free hand moved up to cup her cheek and fleetingly caress the soft skin just below her ear with his thumb. He could see the dozens of specks of blues, greens and greys that created the unique shade of her irises. Beautiful. His gaze shifted to her mouth, then back to her eyes again and noticed a subtle change in her expression. She wanted this. He leaned in a little before suddenly stopping. “Now, I don’t know if this is going to work,” he warned teasingly. “But do I have a go?”

“Positive,” it came out as barely a whisper. But then she smiled, her expression turning playful. “Your…simple solutions have been known to work in the past.”

Jack scoffed playfully. “Well, we’ll keep your crazy ideas for plan B, shall we?”

She nodded in agreement, affecting a thoughtful air that made Jack smile. She wound her arms around his neck, and Jack held his breath when it brought their bodies together. “I do have some ideas for some experiments we could try.”

“Alright, stop it right there.”

She chuckled, and that was it. 

Jack bridged the last few inches that separated them and caressed her lips with his own. She sighed against his lips as her arms pulled him closer still, deepening the kiss and fingers sneaking into his hair. Jack heard himself moan as she coaxed his lips open and, in trying to move them backwards, his foot knocked the table, sending the beer bottles rolling to the floor and spilling their content all over the floor. 

“Crap,” Jack muttered in the second their lips parted, distracted. 

She pulled back as if to go take care of the mess, but Jack drew her back to him before she could actually disentangle herself. “Forget it.” He heard her chuckle again before his lips found hers once more and he walked her away from the mess, pushing her forward until her back gently hit the opposite wall. Her cool fingers suddenly found the skin under his shirt and a sound that was half-moan and half-growl escaped his throat. God, what was she trying to do to him?

“How’s the letting go going for you?” Jack drawled as his lips slid from her lips down to her neck. God she smelled amazing.

She gasped as she tilted her head to give him better access. “Can’t remember why I mentioned it.” 

“Good.”

Their kisses were heating up quickly and Jack’s hands were starting to wander to wonderful heretofore-unknown places when she suddenly flipped them around and pulled away. Jack opened his eyes, his passion-idled brain confused for a second. Her eyes were bright and a shade he had never seen before, her cheeks and lips flushed, her hair tousled slightly from where his fingers had been earlier- God she was… perfect. And sexy as hell. 

The corners of her lips turned up into a slow, tantalizing smile and she took hold of his hand, tugging as she started walking backward. Towards the bedroom. Jack swallowed at the not-so-subtle invitation. But then he smiled. 

And followed her to the bedroom.

ooo0ooo

“We should have done this years ago,” Jack declared. The rain had apparently cleared some time during the night, and now the purple and blue hues of the early morning created shadow plays over Sam’s face and bare shoulder as she lay on her side, facing him, eyes bright despite the small amount of sleep they’d had. His eyes lovingly took in her features. God she was beautiful.

She frowned as she considered his words. “Do you really think so?” she asked, her voice delightfully soft and raspy, though a little too serious for his taste. 

“Sam, I was joking, I was repeating what you-”

“Yeah, I know. I know. But still, is that really what you think? I’m curious.”

Jack gave a one-shoulder shrug, mostly because it was difficult to do it with both shoulders while lying on one’s side. “In a way, I guess. I mean, sure, a part of me wishes that it hadn’t taken us so long to get here.” He sure as hell wasn’t getting any younger, for one.

She nodded as she caught his hand and intertwined their fingers, leaving them to rest between them on the sheet. 

“But… I also think it wouldn’t have been right,” Jack continued. “I’ve always had too much respect for Hammond. And for you.” He’d never told her that, he realized. It was about time. 

She smiled as she focused her gaze on their fingers, slowly tracing his palm with her thumb. “I know. It’s one of the things that always made me love you more.”

He resisted the urge to tease her, instead tugged on her hand in an invitation to shift closer and she took it, coming to rest her head on his chest and flinging one of her legs over his. Jack tried not to let the feeling of her skin against his distract him and to focus on their hypothetical conversation. “I guess I could have retired earlier.”

She shook her head. “It wouldn’t have felt right either. I think neither of us were willing to give up the fight before it was over.”

“So, no regrets?”

“No regrets.” She smiled, sighing contentedly. Her fingers trailed on his chest lazily, tracing patterns that Jack couldn’t fathom. He was suddenly hit with a memory of last night, when they had finally made it to his bedroom, and Jack had just discarded his shirt before they resumed kissing passionately. She had stopped suddenly, and it had taken Jack a second to realize that her fingers had come across his dog tags. Seeing her hesitation, he’d slowly reached for them and pulled the chain over his head before tossing it onto the night table. Jack wouldn’t have read so much into it if it hadn’t been from the look in her eyes, and the emotion with which she kissed him then. And then things had gotten out of hand. In a good way. A very, very good way.

“I wish I didn’t have to get up in an hour to get ready for work.” Sam sighed, bringing him back to the moment.

Jack smiled as his hand trailed up and down her back. “Actually, I have to go in too.”

She raised her head and leaned her chin on the back of her hand. “You’re kidding?”

“I have my last transition briefing with Hank at 8:00. Hand over the key, so to speak. And they asked that I give some kind of speech this afternoon. Apparently as head of the base I can’t just leave without saying ‘thanks and good luck’.”

She raised an amused eyebrow. “How come I didn’t know about this?”

“I’m sure you’ll get the memo in the morning.”

She grinned teasingly. “Well, I’ll be looking forward to the speech.”

He snorted. “I’m sure you will.”

“So by the end of the day your retirement will officially be public knowledge…”

“I guess,” Jack said, unsure where she was going with this. “Although it hasn’t exactly been a well-kept secret. I’m pretty sure everyone knows by now.”

She sighed. “I know, but the others are probably going to want to celebrate now that it’s official.”

“Teal’c will. That party animal.”

She smiled at his comment, but then sighed. “I know it’s selfish, but I was kinda hoping we’d have the evening to ourselves. Especially since I’m leaving next week.”

His arm tightened slightly around her. Thinking about her imminent departure always came with a painful pang, so Jack shook the thought away. “Hey, you know how I love a good party, but I’m willing to skip this one if it means spending a few more hours like this.”

“You’d skip your own retirement party?” she asked, amused.

“I’d especially skip my own retirement party.”

She chuckled softly. “Well, whatever happens, know that you are officially invited to come over to my house when it’s over. Think you’ll be able to make it?” she asked in a teasing tone.

Jack couldn’t help it, he reached down to kiss her, tightening his arms around her. “Let anyone try and stop me.”


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set during the season 9 episode "Beachhead"

 

A few months later

“I have some news.”

Jack smiled at Sam’s face on the computer screen, happy to see her so excited. He could tell from the background behind her that she was in her sleeping quarters aboard Prometheus. Even though he’d been happy that she had taken him seriously when he had told her not to turn anything down if it came up, all the video-chat and deep-space link thing didn’t make up for not waking up next to her every morning. He had gotten used to that really fast, well, pretty much the first morning it had happened, actually. He missed her. A lot. 

So a part of him kind of wished that she would consider Colonel Mitchell’s offer to re-join SG-1. Her hours would be crazier, she would have less free time, and he’d spend a lot of time worrying about her when she was off-world, but at least they would see each other at the end of her shift. They could even move in together, if she wished. But maybe that was a discussion best reserved for some face-to-face time.

“What? Wait don’t tell me. The Prometheus sublight engine’s subatomic reactors were improved with a quantum particle generator?” he teased. 

She smirked. “You know what you just said doesn’t make any sense, right?” 

He sighed. “I miss the old days. When you didn’t dare make fun of me to my face.” He smiled. “So what’s the news?”

She shook her head in amusement. “I got a call from General Landry today.” She took a breath. “They want me back.”

“Funny you should say that, cause I got a call from Hank too.”

She looked surprised. “Oh. Really? What did he say?”

“He wants you back.”

“He told you about the Ori beachhead and the Mark 9?”

“He did.”

“Huh. Wow.” She looked confused. “But why? I mean why did he call you?”

“He wants to keep me in the loop.”

“Seriously, why did he call you?”

“I think he thinks I have some influence over you or something. He wants me to work my magic and convince you to go. Little does he know that you have all the influence and magic in this relationship.”

She smiled, but then focused on the issue at hand. “They must be pretty desperate.”

“To call me?”

“To call me,” Sam rectified – but he had seen the brief smirk. “I think I should go. At least temporarily. Maybe I really can help.”

Jack nodded slightly. “For what it’s worth, I think you should go too. And maybe not temporarily.”

That caught her attention. “You think I should ask to be reassigned to the SGC?”

Jack hesitated. He definitely wanted it, but he didn’t want to stop her from doing what she wanted. “It’s up to you. I know the R&D job was what you wanted with Teal’c and Daniel gone. But now Daniel seems to be stuck here for a while. And Teal’c’s gonna come to his senses soon.”

She smiled softly. “I have to admit, I’ve kind of missed it. Going off-world. The SGC.”

Jack returned her smile. “I know.”

She leaned a little closer to her camera. “And I kind of miss you, too.” Oh that soft voice…

“Just ‘kind of’?”

“No.” She smiled. “But if we take a moment to weigh the pros and cons… Going back to the SGC would mean that I could settle back in Colorado Springs more permanently...”

“True,” he agreed, starting to grin despite his attempts at hiding it. “Please tell me you think that’s a pro.”

“Definitely a pro.”

“Good. Because – and not that I’m trying to influence you or anything, but… I think you coming to the old neighborhood would be really, really great. I kind of miss you too.”

Her smiled softened. 

“We could even, oh I don’t know, move in together or something,” Jack suggested lightly.

There was a pause. Jack threw a glance at her face on the screen. She was smiling.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Just like that?”

“Yes. So it’s settled then; I’ll go and help them save the world, and I’ll try to get a sense of whether or not Mitchell still wants me on SG-1.”

“He does.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”

“No, I’m saying I know he does. Hank told me.” 

She narrowed her eyes. “Wow, it turns out General Landry really did know what he was doing when he called you…”

“Are you saying I do have some influence on you?”

She smirked. “Well, I don’t know about influence, but as your junior by quite a few years, I think it’s only fair that I respect your wisdom and-”

“Alright, alright, that’s enough.”

They fell silent when the humor faded, sharing a smile.

“Any chance you can bribe the commander to beam you down here for the night?”

She sighed. “I wish. But on the bright side, they want me to escort the Mark 9 first thing in the morning. So if all goes according to plan, I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Jack thought things at the SGC never did go according to plan, but he stayed silent. Instead he said, “Can’t wait. Be careful out there.”

“I will.”

“And say hi to Daniel. He never writes, he never calls…”

“Will do. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jack nodded, and hesitated for a second before he said: “Love you.” They didn’t say the words very often, but Jack felt it so much at the moment that he couldn’t keep it inside. She’d understand.

Her gaze sharpened as she caught his words. “I love you too.”

Jack ended the conversation by pushing the button and shut his laptop with a sigh. If anyone had asked him six months ago what he thought his life would be like in the near future, he could never have imagined life being so good as it was. Sure, it wasn’t always perfect, but most of the time it came pretty damn close. 

And tomorrow… 

Tomorrow she’d be in his arms again, and then it really was going to be perfect. 

100% perfect.

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! I'm always trying to improve my writing, so constructive criticism and other feedback appreciated! :-)


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